Soapbox time.
It probably isn't a surprise to any of you that know me well or read my blog that I have tattoos. All small, all easily hidden, and all very meaningful to me. Now, it probably isn't a shock to many of you that not everyone supports tattoos, which is fine for them. What bugs the mother living crap out of me is when you dictate that your believes are correct for me and my life as well. Bullshit. Let me tell you a few things about tattoos.
First of all, times are a changing. I have most of my friends or acquaintances have tattoos. It isn't something that only skinheads do anymore. It is becoming mainstream and those of you who hate that just have to get over it. No one is asking you to tattoo yourself so stop freaking out. That's a personal choice for everyone but just know that many more people than you think have tattoos.
So here's a little about me:
- I did reasonably well in school. I didn't party excessively or get into trouble.
- I have a college degree. I have also paid off all of my student loans in five years.
- I have courage and integrity as a person.
- I contribute positively to society and follow the law.
- I responsibly pay my bills and my taxes on time.
- I am an educated voter.
- I work two jobs tirelessly.
- I own my own business.
- I volunteer in my community.
- I am a kind decent person that helps my fellow man.
I also have five tattoos. Does that fact change my worth? Does it make any of the above statements less true or less valuable? No. I am the same person whether or not I have ink on my skin.
Whose business is it anyway what my body looks like? Does anyone get to tell me what my body should or should not be used for it does not impact their life directly? Why is okay to come to a snap judgement about me because of my ink but we would all reasonably deny that this is acceptable when taking someone's skin tone into consideration. Someone else's skin color does not matter and has no impact on me. Therefore, my tattoos should not matter or impact others. Snap judgements made on superficial aspects of another person are the responsibility of the judger, not the judged. They also have power over the judger, not the judged.
You may say that people with different skin tones do not get to choose that where I chose my tattoos. Really, that shouldn't matter very much. I will concede that perhaps my arguments are not valid for someone who chooses to tattoo something overly offensive in an open area of their body purely for shock value. However, does the fact that I have small, meaningful tattoos change who I am? If I am in a job interview and am covering my tattoos or if the interviewer can not see me and I am well qualified for the job, would my covered tattoos change that? No. Who I am at my core, my values, my knowledge and my abilities do not change with or without tattoos.
Many professionals choose to have tattoos. Does that change what they are capable of? No. And it isn't really your business anyway. It is more your problem than theirs.
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| Same person. Same abilities. |
Tattoo shaming comes from a place of judgement, closed mindedness and insecurity. It comes from the same older generation that defended a man's right to be superior to women or one race's superiority over another. It is ignorant. If my expression of myself offends you so much that you can't see past it then remove yourself from me. It isn't that great of a loss for me to remove ignorance from my life. The loss is yours. If they make you uncomfortable and you would like to confront me about them, do so from a defensible stance, not one of "shaming what is different" or from fear of things different from yourself. I am more than happy to explain the importance of each tattoo to me and why I chose to get it. If I still offend you, then there is a better place for you to be. Away from me. However, I believe that if someone was to learn a little about me before judging me we will come to some kind of understanding.
So really, the choice is yours. If you want to express an opinion, I will defend your right to express it in a respectful manner. That doesn't mean I will agree with you or that we will reach any type of agreement. We may decide to agree to disagree. If that is going to get in the way of a meaningful relationship then that's your problem. I am who I am. I think, overall, I am a good person whether or not you like the fact that I have tattoos. Your opinion about my life doesn't make a huge impact on me. Let's keep in mind that if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. You take your path and I'll take mine. If our paths cross just know I will not be so disrespectful as to ignorantly judge you on something superficial.
So why the rant? Why am I up on my soapbox chanting away at you?
Well, I have tattoos and recently got more. I have members of my family and people that are close to me that will not be happy with this decision. Recently, someone I love very much, respect fully and am grateful to for doing something incredibly generous for me called me. That act of generosity was held over my head as a reason that she could pass unfair judgement on me. This person is not involved in day to day life and I am left to believe that she thinks very little of me. Perhaps if she got to know me better she would know that lording over me will do no good. Perhaps she would also see that I am a good wholesome person and the fact that I have tattoos does not change that. Perhaps not. She may be too stuck in her own ways. That's fine. Just keep that kind of judgmental attitude away from me. I can only take the high road for so long.
So feel free to ask about my tattoos. Feel free to tell me you disagree and wish I hadn't gotten them. Then feel free to leave it at that because I didn't get them for you; I got them for me.
