Feeling Lost

So we moved to North Carolina and changed the whole life I worked so hard to build in Colorado, so worth it for my wonderful husband whom I'd do anything for.  Still, it hasn't been easy for me here.  North Carolina isn't so bad but I hate Fayetteville.  It just doesn't seem like a place where I fit in.  It has been hard for me these past couple of weeks.

When we first got here, I immediately went out and got a job at a vet's office.  It wasn't exactly the job I was looking for though.  First of all, so so so unorganized and what was organized was completely old school.  Not an office that had growth in it because the vet was as old as dirt and controlling as hell so when she either kicked the bucket or retired there would be nothing left of the practice.  Second, so so so dead.  No clients.  So boring.  Third, what clients that did come in were completely mistreated.  If I brought my dog or cat in and saw them treated that way I would be out of there so fast.  No need to restrain, hurt, panic, or stress animals that come to you for help and health.  The vet also shamed owners.  I have never heard such a catty environment totally trashing anyone that disagreed with them.  I would be completely the client they didn't want there because I don't allow my animals to be manhandled, I ask questions and have my own opinions, believe in training to change behavior and feed a biologically appropriate food.  They would have hated me.  And I hated them.  I tried to make a go of it but I couldn't get past the way they treated animals.  Very old school.  When one of the assistants kicked a dog in front of me that was pretty much it and I walked out.  Never to return.  Good residence.

Now I am in a rut because this is not at all the environment I am used to in relation to animals, dogs or dog training.  There is a lot of old school closed mindedness here and that's hard to crack through.  Especially when I am rather unhappy being here anyway and don't really feel like fighting the good fight.  So now I am disillusioned and not sure what I want to do.

I am bored and depressed and that is a long slide down that I don't want to have to climb back up.  So I really need to get in gear and find a job.  To find a job I have a lot of things to think about.  What do I actually want to do?  Dog training yes but I don't know if this is the place for it and is that a career I can do forever or is that more something I do on the side while working a career that can pay the bills?  I had it so good in Colorado with House of Dog Training.  I had no idea how blessed I was there and it is like a swift kick in the pants to have lost that.  Very discouraging.

I am kicking around the idea of going back to school.  Then, again, what do I want to do?  Do I want to get a business degree?  Do I want to be a vet tech?  Do I want to be a police officer?  What about something else completely different that goes along with one of my interests?  What do I want to do?  Ug.  I had this all figured out.  I didn't want to have to go through this again.

Huge kick in the pants of my forward momentum.

What do I want to do with my life?

Life Changes

I have left my beloved Colorado for the new and different North Carolina.  Jake is stationed here and needless to say I wasn't overly pleased about it in the beginning.  We left Colorado, by far the best state, on July 18th and made it here on the 21st.  That was a long three day drive behind Jake in the UHaul with truck and motorcycle in tow.  Not nearly the fun road trip I envisioned but when you have all of your belongings in a truck and animals in the car you can't really stop and smell the roses if you know what I mean.  We just pushed on through.

Luckily we were smart in that we closed on our house the day we got here.  Not so lucky in that in North Carolina you don't get your keys right away, which is the stupidest thing in the world if you ask me.  We were not pleased.  But it all ended well.  We have a house that is perfect for us.  Good kitchen, good yard, three bedrooms.  Unpacking and getting everything just so was my mission.  A mission that I completed as soon as I could.  Completely done.  Well, mostly done.  The garage is the one we have to tackle next.  So help me I will get rid of all the boxes.  They bother me.  No more boxes for three years when we have to pack up and do this whole thing again.

Did have a job.  Hated the job.  Quit the job.  Need to find a new job.  *sigh*  That front sucks.

Jake needs knee surgery.  Hopefully they invent cyborg parts before he fully falls apart.  I love him so and would like to keep him for as long as I can.  He got the go ahead to get that done as soon as possible so we're waiting for the doctor to call back so we can get the surgery scheduled.

North Carolina isn't really so bad.  Up in the mountains... "mountains" was very nice.  We spent our anniversary up there enjoying the cooler weather without humidity.  If there is one thing I would completely get rid of it would be humidity.  It's torture.  Humidity and mosquitoes.  Wipe those off the map please.  My first act when I become a God.  The beach was fun and I really really need to go back there.  So basically, I like North Carolina except for Fayetteville.  Fayetteville is the Pueblo of North Carolina, which is a reference that people from Colorado will get.  Basically it sucks here.  Not a great town.  But if we get out of town, it's not so bad.

We got dirt bikes.  I finally get to learn how to ride and hopefully I won't kill myself in the process.  Or give Jake a heart attack.  We got brave and took the bikes to the mountains and attempted to ride.  Maybe bit a little more off than I could chew seeing as it was my third time on the bike.  I can't wait to get good enough to fly up the mountain.  It will be fun to ride with my hubby and get his friends out with us.  I look forward to it.

I've been having some fun doing prompts with Kathleen.  It feels great to open up that door again and write.  I've been stifling that side of me and it needs to get out more.  Creativity is a good thing.

Speaking of creativity, I'm having fun with clay too.  I make the gosh darndest cutest things.  I am on a Pokemon kick to sell to the other kiddies downtown eventually.

Well, love to all!