Give Thanks!

Happy Thanksgiving! 

 Now I will admit it isn't my favorite holiday because I don't like to stuff myself, but it is good to remember what we are thankful for.  Over the past month I have seen people posting what they are thankful for and I have my own things I'm thankful for.

I am thankful for:

• My mom.  For all her hard work to help me in my life.
• My dad.  For helping me remodel my house.  I would never have been able to do that plumbing myself.
• My sister, Caitlin.  For giving me the best advice and being someone I can always talk to.
• My brother-in-law, Jak.  For being generous and always amusing.
• My older brother, Geoff.  For giving me a place to live even though I cramp his style.
• My younger brother, Riley.  For never ceasing to amaze me and making me proud I'm not the only English Literature major.
• My girl, Gerani.  For wearing her heart on her sleeve and teaching me to slow down and love.
• My boy, Whitman.  For always making me laugh and for all his darling personality.
• My kittenface, Theo.  For being my snuggle muffin.
• My best friend, Kathleen.  For being my second half and loving me just the same.
• My best friend, Caitlin.  For being my oldest friend, best roommate and incredible travel buddy.
• My LD friends, you know who you are.  For finally making me feel like I have a group to belong to and who I can be myself with.
• My LD partner, Astrid.  For being someone I can geek out with.
• My mentor, Angie.  For giving me something to inspire to and for helping me find the right path to get where I want to go.
• My extended family.  For giving my family the greatest foundation.
• My personal strength.  I am thankful for being who I am and having the strength to be okay with that.
• My day job.  I am thankful to have one and that I can support myself.
• My training job.  I am thankful to be realizing my dream a step at a time.
• My rescue work.  For doing my part to change the lives of dogs in need.
• This great country.  For being a citizen of one of the greatest countries in the world.  I am also thankful for all the soldiers that fight for it.
• For all the small things that I can never remember but that I am thankful for everyday.

I hope you all have an incredible meal with the people you love.  Take a minute to think of the things you are grateful for.

Shooting!

So way back on my birthday, I asked for a gift certificate to a pistol course.  It has been in my mind for a long time that as a small single woman living alone I want to own and safely handle a gun.  Not just that, but I think that everyone should be able to safely pick up a gun and know how to safely handle it regardless of if you are going to fire it or not.  Also, I want to be able to carry a gun concealed if I ever need to.

Well my parents got me a gift certificate to Paradise Sales, a local gun shop that runs a really good pistol course.  Way way back when I called them to set it up but then my sister and brother-in-law wanted to come too so I had to cancel and reschedule for a class that still had three openings.  That ended up being the class this month.  Honestly it kind of crept up on me.  I thought it was this coming weekend instead of last weekend so I was not prepared when they called me to confirm.  I feel extremely unorganized right now and it is wreaking havoc for me.  Living out of boxes for months on end is very hard.

Anyway, so the course lasts about 25 hours over the weekend starting on Friday night.  It is designed for people who know nothing about guns to come in and learn about pistols from the bottom up.  You learn the parts and how both a revolver and semi-auto work.  You learn about ammo.  You learn about how to handle a gun.  There is a section about law too.  Then you are fitted for a gun if you don't already have one.

I knew I needed a fairly small gun because I have small hands.  So I first got fitted with a Bersa Thunder.  Very cool gun.  But I found out that I have a hard time shooting it as a double action, which is what they want you to practice with.  The Bersa was just this side of being too big for my hand so I had to reach for the double action trigger.  Then because I have a bad trigger finger from a bad break as a child, it got really stiff after a while.  My finger doesn't straighten real well and it doesn't curl all the way down very well either.  So after a while of dry firing the double action my finger started to tighten up.  It made it curl just right naturally that my finger kept resting inside of the trigger guard, which is a big no in handgun safety.  So I needed a gun that had a little bit of an easier trigger for me to handle.  I went down to a SIG 238.

We spent all of Sunday at the Cactus Flats range down south.  So much fun.  We started the day doing a round robin, where you fire all these different types of handguns, rifles and shotguns.  A lot of the handguns are too big for my hands to shoot as a main gun but it was a lot of fun.  I do prefer the semi-autos to the revolvers.  The rifles were a lot of fun too, especially the AK-47.  I also shot all the shotguns.  They had a 10, 12 and 20.  Most of the women my size shot from the hip on the bigger shotguns but I think they're so much fun that I shot from the shoulder.  They weren't that bad.  The one I had the most trouble with were the flint-lock rifles.  I shot them very last and my arms were already killing me.  Those suckers are heavy but a lot of fun.  And I hit the gong, which was satifying.

After the round robin we spent the second half of the day shooting our own chosen guns.  I really really like the SIG 238.  I am fast on my trigger pull so I tend to jerk down just a bit because I have a hard time slowly squeezing my bad trigger finger.  So that is something I will have to really practice.  Hopefully with a lot of practice my finger strength will get better and I'll actually have better use of the finger.  It was a really great time and they have you work one on one with an instructor the whole time so you really learn a lot.  At the very end of the day we all shot for our concealed carry qualifications.  I qualified with flying colors.  So now this coming Friday we're going to take the test and after that I can go to the Sheriff's office and get my concealed carry permit.  After that I'm going to buy my first gun.

I think I am going to come out of this with three guns total.  The SIG 238 for my carry gun, a bigger 22 for my target gun and a shotgun for my home.  This could get really expensive really fast.

This is the SIG 238 I want.  Pretty pretty!

Anyway, don't mess with me because pretty soon I can have a gun on me.

Good times!

I hope Karma gets you.

I have a lot to post about.  This was a very busy wild weekend.

However, the main thing I want to post about at the moment is how people are not my favorite thing right now.  In fact, people suck most of the time.  It is exactly why I am a dog person and prefer them to almost every other person out there.

Some people are just plain old assholes and I really hope Karma hurries it up and bites them in the ass.  I feel this way about a lot of people right now.

At this moment if someone asked me to do anything for them I would say no.  I do not want to go out of my way to someone when they're just going to take advantage and screw me over.  So no, I am not going to go out of my way for someone for a while.  I'm burnt out.

So maybe it would be wise for people to leave me alone this week as much as possible.  I need a vacation from human drama and the crap that goes along with it.

Not in a good mood and that's my piece.  If you feel like you're not one of those people who this is directed at then maybe approach me slowly and offer chocolate.

Thoughts on Religion

Here's a hot topic for you: Religion.  It's one that a lot of people get upset over and influences a lot of other hot topics like abortion or gay rights.  It is very important to some people and not so much to others.  For many though, it is a sensitive subject.

I've been thinking about religion these past couple of days.  I'm not sure what really got me going, probably the several religious posts on Facebook I see everyday.  So I've been meaning to do a post on my thoughts about religion.  If you aren't interested in my honest opinions then stop reading now.  This post isn't meant to offend anyone, just my honest thoughts.

I come from a very religious family.  I have a large Irish Catholic family on my mom's side and the majority of my family members attended or are attending Catholic schools, especially when I was little.  Most of my family lives in the St. Louis area and when I was growing up, my immediate family was the only one outside of that area as I grew up in Colorado.  We went to church when I was growing up.  I did Sunday school, went to several confessions and did first communion as a child.  It wasn't as important in my life as my extended family's lives but it was there when I was growing up.  I just never remember it really sinking in.  Religion was more of this idea more than a power in my life.  The Bible was just a collection of stories that didn't make a whole lot of sense to me rather than a holy book.  I remember doing confession and just being extremely uncomfortable and unsure of what to do in that situation.  Church was always something I had to do, not something I was invested in.  Honestly I think I went without complaint, most of the time, because there were donuts afterward and that was the only time ever that I got to have donuts.  See, bribery works.  At least to get your kids to physically do something.

As I got older, I started thinking about what I was being told in church.  I realized that I wasn't a believer; I was just going through the motions because that is what you did.  By the time I was in high school I had done my own hard thinking about religion and decided that it was not for me.  In fact, I was often times offended by the Church and didn't want to participate anymore.  It was a point of contention between my mom and I. She wanted me to continue with it and get confirmed.  Confirmation was the last thing I wanted to do because I didn't want to participate in the Church anymore.  Pettily enough, I was also mad that the Confirmation retreat for our church would take place over my 16th birthday and that was not the party I had envisioned.  Finally I struck a deal with my mom that I would go through with Confirmation without complaint but from then on out religion was my choice and I would be free to make that choice.  So I got confirmed.  Then I worked on really thinking about what my beliefs were.

Over many years, here is my thoughts on religion.

I don't believe in God.  I think the concept of a God is too unknowable and too big of a stretch for the human mind.  If there is a God, there is no way for me to comprehend it.  So, I consider myself Agnostic rather than Atheist   Because I can't say either way what created the universe or mankind or whatever.  I am just one tiny dot in the middle of it and I can't see beyond my own limitations and that's okay with me.

I don't believe in organized religion.  There are times when I've felt spiritual and moved and it is those moments that keep the possibility of something larger at work alive to me.  However, I don't believe that some organization that was made up hundreds upon hundreds of years ago should dictate to me how I should feel spiritual in my life.  I feel that organized religions are more about control and exclusion of those who are "other" rather than acceptance and worship.  The ideas that drive the large religions are outdated for the world we live in and often offensive.  I will not take part in a religion that is based on making a certain type of person feel powerful and loved because they worship the right way.  If there is a God or greater being out there, I don't think He/it cares if I cross myself a certain way.  What is more important is that I am a good moral person.  Yes religion can teach you that.  But you can also learn to be a good moral person without religion.

I have decided not to attend mass anymore.  In my family, it is expected that you go to mass when we all get together.  Especially on Christmas.  For the longest time I went because it was the respectful thing to do.  Now however, I feel that it is rather disrespectful for me to go into someone's place of worship, a place that is holy and very important to them, and sit there being bored out of my mind.  I find that is disrespectful of me to treat someone else's choice of worship that way.  So I will be staying home because I don't want to participate in something that means nothing to me or that I outright disagree with.  It cheapens it for the people that do believe and I don't want to do that.

I think that everyone has the right to believe what they want as long as they are not hurting others.  So that means I have the right to not attend mass and you have the right to attend mass.  Win win.  I have a problem when people sit in judgement of others because their beliefs tell them that they are right and the other person is wrong.  I could start a religion worshiping an inanimate object and that may be just as real to me as someone who goes to a church or synagogue or mosque.  As long as I am not hurting anyone then I don't see the problem.

Religion is an expression of something people feel deeply.  Everyone is different so we should have different expressions.  One expression does not necessarily have merit over another.  However, organized religion has been the root of a lot of evil in this world.  Those who believe in something so strongly that they are unable to see past it or are willing to do a lot of harm in its name are dangerous, regardless of what that belief is.  I get sick of hearing people get pissed off because that person believes something different.  When we get too focused on exclusion things get dangerous.  Or when people focus too much on taking religious texts so literal they forget that it was written hundreds and hundreds of years ago and perhaps society has chanced a little since then which means so should beliefs.


So yes, I myself don't believe in any organized religion or God.  But I do believe that everyone has the right to choose for themselves.  That right does not come with judgement of other people because they don't agree.  At some point, you have to agree to disagree and be okay with that.

Free time? What's that?

Things to do.  I've got a lot of them.  Updating my blog seems more fun though.

I went up to Denver this weekend to get a wood burning stove for my house.  Of course, as soon as I get home with the HUGE thing, I find out my aunt is offering me a free gas fireplace.  As much as I want the ambiance of wood burning, a gas fireplace would be more practical.  I wouldn't have to clean it and it would heat the house much better.  Problem is, can I get a gas line put there and can my family truck it to CO from St. Louis when they come to visit?  Dunno.  And of course I have this giant stove I just bought.  So... May resell that one and put in the gas if I can get the gas line put in.

Other house news:

I spent much of this weekend shopping for lighting fixtures.  My mom took me down to the Habitat for Humanity warehouse thing downtown and we got some nice light fixtures down there for a good price.  I got tired of looking at them quickly though, especially because I thought a lot of the lights there were incredibly ugly.  Lots of brass and I think brass looks tacky.  So does everyone else really because they're taking them out of their houses as they remodel.  But I got two fans so that each bedroom can have a ceiling fan and a pretty nice chandelier for the dining room.  Then I trucked off to Home Depot to buy the rest of the light fixtures I needed so that the electrician can finish up.  I am worn out on shopping for lights.  I can only do things like that for so long before I burn out and get to the point where I don't care anymore.  Not the best thing when remodeling a house.

The heat now works.  That means we will be able to work there after the sun goes down.  It was bloody cold in the house so very little work was getting done.  Now that the electricity should be squared away and the heat is on, it will be much easier to work.  Next I just need to get the fence done so I can bring the dogs over while working.  That will make everything easier.

I just want the thing to be done, as I keep saying.  Anyone up for pizza and painting may be taken up on it.


My time this week is pretty much spoken for so I won't get much time to work on the house.  I am working and training almost every night.  Then on Thursday going to Twilight with friends.  Then on Friday I have a rescue meeting then my firearms course starts that evening.  I am so excited for this because it has been a long time coming but man it is going to make for a very long weekend.  It is from Friday at 6am to midnight, Saturday 8am to 10pm, and Sunday 8am to 6pm.  Talk about a crash course.  After this though I'll buy a gun, maybe two.  I want to be able to carry it in my car and have another to keep at home.  That also means getting two solid and easy safes as I do believe in owning a gun in a responsible way.

So although I may not be around on here much this week I'm still plugging away at life.

Maybe not

A lot of things have been bouncing around in my mind.  I've been doing hard thinking on myself these past couple of weeks.  Self reflection is important.  It is important to think about yourself and who you want to be.  It is important to know yourself and respect yourself, even if you're an idiot sometimes.

That's what I'm trying to do.  Inner reflection is really important as long as you don't get lost in it.

I have a lot I want to say but I'm also unsure of how I want to say it.  I'm finding, the problem with a blog is that once it is out there it's out there.  Can't take it back.  I don't know.  I'm in a weird pensive mood.

And I was going to make this a longer post but I find I am not in the mood for it.  So... eh for now.

This, that and the other thing

Okay this is the last thing I am going to say about politics for a long time.  This election has pretty much beat what little patience I had for politics right out of me.

Obama wins.  We get four more years of him.  Honestly, I hadn't paid much attention to him over the last four years so I am hoping he'll just kind of fade into the background.  I did vote and I did not vote for Obama.  Although I agree with many social and cultural things he supports, I thought it was more important to get a strong economy going.  Guess most of America didn't agree.  Though This was a pretty close election based on popular vote.  Can I just say that I don't have any idea how the electoral college works but it seems like a pretty stupid system to me.  I'm sure it serves some purpose but it could also be one of those strange bureaucratic things that don't really make any sense to anyone but it's there because it has always been there.  I hope the country doesn't go too far into debt over the next four years but at least I hope there will be some good social strides made.

And that's all I have to say about politics.  I want all the political signs and ads down.  No one better call me at work anymore to campaign.  Thank God that is over.  I was going to start slapping people here pretty soon.  Now I can go back to just having a general knowledge about politics for the next four years.  Then we'll go through this all again.  That's a drag but at the same time it is an incredible thing.  There are many  many MANY countries all over the world that do not offer that freedom to their people.  We are truly blessed to live in a place that the leadership of our government is so easily and bloodlessly transferred   And hey, you don't like this president, there will be another one in 4-8 years depending on terms.

Oh and if you didn't vote, shame on you!  Seeing how close the popular vote was just goes to show you that your vote does matter.  And if you didn't vote I don't want to hear a peep out of you.  You can't complain, bitch or moan about anything political for the next four years because you did not exercise your civic right to earn the right to bitch.  So hush it!  Me, I do have the right to bitch, complain and moan because I got out there and took 15 minutes to vote.

Okay, political ramble over.  Done and over with.

In other news, the house is trucking right along.  I am so over remodeling though and we aren't even half way done.  Ug.  I feel like I am banging my head against a wall repeatedly.  Mostly I just want to move in.  I am honestly considering doing it before the thing is finished.  That would motivate me to get off my butt and finish it.  I believe the electrician is almost done.  Furnace will go in here soon.  Windows are being done soon.  What else does a girl need really?  Oh right, fence for the dogs.

Spent last Friday in Denver with the LD training crew.  We were up there to attend a dog bite conference with Victoria Stilwell.  Victoria Stilwell, the positive reinforcement trainer from Animal Planet's It's Me or the Dog, is the most incredible person.  She is probably my all time most favorite person in the world.  I either want to hug her because she's so sweet and cute or follow her around in awe of her greatness.  Seriously, someone I very much look up to and if I could make myself like a "celebrity" it would be her.  This is the second I've seen her and I just love her.

Anyway, the conference was actually very very interesting.  It is such an important topic because dog bites do happen and they can be very bad.  I hate the fact that when it does happen though, often times it is the dog that is blamed when really it should be the owner.  Dogs are pretty much what we make of them.  We force them to live in our world, in our society and then we blame then when we didn't show them how to do that.  It is a tragedy that when dog bites do happen it is on children the majority of the time.  I came away from this conference with a new desire to really focus my career on aggressive dogs and the interaction between dogs and children.  It is SO important.  You can mark my words that if I ever have children, God help me if I do, that they will have a very healthy respect for dogs.  As will the children of my siblings.

There were some hard topics discussed.  I was really amazed and wowed by the courage of one couple who spoke to us.  They lost their two year old son to a bite from their family dog six years ago.  It was very emotional and hard to hear but very important that we do hear.  Dogs bite.  We need to be prepared for that and not shy away from that.  Their courage really moved me.  I was also fascinated by the dog bite investigator.  I almost feel like that is what I should be doing because it blends my love of crime and crime solving with dogs.  That would be an incredibly hard thing to do though.  I also need to look up the irresponsible owners law from Georgia and really give that a hard read.  I would like to see something like that passed in every state.

Victoria Stilwell is passionate about dogs and positive reinforcement training.  I love her!

What else?  Oh.  I am very much failing at my attempt to do the NaNoWriMon.  I am probably about 20 pages behind.  I just don't often have time to sit down and write.  That's what I am going to do tonight.  I need to sit down and write about 15 pages to catch up somewhat.  That and fold laundry.  What a night it will be.

Better get back to work so I can leave on time tonight.

NaNoWriMo

Because I don't have anything else to do, I've decided to participate in National Novel Writing Month.  Basically your goal is to write 50,000 words in November.  The idea is to just free write and get your juices flowing and not edit yourself.  Once you write, you don't go back in touch it.  Which for writers is one of the hardest exercises you can put before them.

I've decided to participate because:
One- One of my best friends is doing it and I figure we can cheer each other on.
Two- I am a writer in my soul and I want to bring that more into my life.
Three- I seem to have this deep seated need to be incredibly busy.

I did it once in college and ended up with something that was pretty out there.  Granted I was battling pretty hard depression and insomnia at the time.  I'd like to make this a yearly thing.  It really is a great exercise.  I have lots of ideas of stories rattling around in my head and I need to get them on paper.  What better way?  I'm going into this with pretty much no preparation, just a will to write.  I think that's the most important thing anyway.  We'll see where the words take me.

Word count: 0

Wish me luck!