Give Thanks - Everything!

I have spent the month looking into my life and finding things that I am grateful for.  It comes down to the fact that I am just so thankful for everything I have in my life.  I am so lucky and I hope that everyone I love and makes me happy knows just how much I am grateful and how much I value them.

I am so thankful to be living with Jake and be so in love with him.  I never knew what this would feel like and it is amazing.  In the quiet moments when it is just him and I all snuggled up, I finally understand the word love.  It's wonderful and I hope we have a long life together.

I am so thankful for my family.  I haven't always been thankful for them and have taken for granted that I had them in my life.  But, through everything, I know I am so lucky to have a strong support system behind me that love me for who I am and will celebrate with me when I win and pick me up when I fall.  Dad, you are a rock.  Mom, you have always fought for me.  Caitlin, I have never felt like someone was completely in my corner and loving me as you have.  Jak, you bring fun and warmth to this family.  Geoff, I look up to you and I know you are a quiet strength that I can lean on.  Riley, I see most of myself in you and I have so loved seeing the person you have become.

I am so thankful for the furry, four-legged members of my family.  Whitman is my dog through and through and I love that.  Theo makes me laugh and when he snuggles it is a delight in my life.  Jeanine is the biggest goof and she always cheers me up.  And I would not be who I am or where I am without the dogs in my past.  Vallie and Gerani are the angels on my shoulder that I miss everyday.

I am thankful for the friends I've made and kept over the years.  Friendships are not something I'm stellar at but I am so grateful for the ones I have in my life.  Caitlin, from cradle to grave forever.  No matter where we are and what we are doing, you are my best friend.  Kathleen, we've had to figure things out but I know you'll always be in my heart as a lifelong friend.  Sarah, I never forget where I've come from and you were there.  Sean, my fun time friend; move back so we can hang out again!  Ryan, I am so happy you came into my life like a ray of kick ass sunshine.  Amanda, you are weird and we are weird together; priceless.  Shay, dog geek and regular geek, enough said.  Astrid, brave enough to take a chance with me and also sharing in my geekdom.  And to all other friends who have come and gone, I am so thankful for every moment.

I am thankful for the experiences I've had in my life.  Traveling, learning, and just experiencing the wild things.  I've backpacked Europe.  I've been to Thailand in a 5 star resort, petted tigers and rode elephants.  I've been on a cruise and tasted some of the finer things in life.  I've been to college and had the chance to better myself.  I've studied something that I love and explored my creative side with writing.  I can't even name every moment that I've loved in my life.  I wish I could but I've valued all of them.  I'm also thankful for the painful experiences in life.  They've been an even bigger influence in molding me into who I am.  Everyone struggles but you take that and make it into a positive influence. Everyone gets knocked down.  The trick is to get up and dust yourself off.  That's a great thing.

So this is the end of November, the month of thanks.  Even if I'm not posting about it, I'm still going to keep in mind that I have so much to be thankful for.  It's a healthy outlook on life.

Written Long Ago

In my heart... I'm a writer.  I don't do it as often as I should but I am trying to exercise that bone.  I have a journal that I am writing a page in everyday.  I used to run a blog on LiveJournal called All_Unwritten dedicated to daily writing prompts.  If I get stuck, I am going to use that.  I just looked it up and damn my first one was pretty good.

Prompt: 
In the beginning

My writing:
In the beginning it was all a world of stones. The cascading mountains descended into pebbles. All was quiet, here in this world of harsh corners and the never ending waterfalls into the dark rock. Stones threaded through a needle in your eye. It was all in the beginning.

That's some good imagery.  I really like that.

Here's another one:

Prompt:

My Writing:
It was cold outside. It was always cold outside now. The world was in a whitewash of sleet that tugged at the leaves and massed at the edges of the window pane. It was cold and silent, like the world had forgotten to breathe, forgotten it was alive. His own breath fogged against the glass. Against glass that had ceased to be glass but surrendered itself over to a world that lacked warmth. It had given up and let itself slip into the ice that he felt crawling at the back of his neck. He mourned her, releasing the choking misery into the damp world. A world that was hungry for it, seeping his sadness deep into itself and icing it over. It was cold; it was always cold.


Seriously, I need to get back into this.  I am going to stop looking through these and reading what I've written.  I want to reuse the prompts and see what I come up with this time.  Should be a fun exercise.

Give Thanks - Challenges

I have several friends who are going through a hard time or have just recovered from a hard time in their lives.  I wish I could give them strength as they take on the battles of their lives.  I know though that there is nothing you can really do but be there for the type of support that they need and lend an ear.  You can't do anything to solve the problem until they take the first step.  And that's hard.  That's hard because as an outsider you have a lot more perspective and can see things in a clear and unemotional way.  When you're caught up in it, you can't see the clearest way out, even if someone points it out to you.  I know how hard that is and I am sad to see several people I love going through that.

I've had my own serious challenges.  I've struggled.  I've fallen down and messed up multiple times.  And I've also learned how to pick myself up and put the pieces of my mind back together.  It was horrible and hard but I am so grateful for it because now I know myself better than I did and better than I would have if everything had been easy for me.  Having myself completely destroyed and rebuilt through hard work and perseverance has given me a strength and self confidence that I love.  You only really know what you're capable of when you've had to fight so hard with something internal.

So yes, it was the worst time of my life and I didn't know if I would make it.  But I did.  And I'm stronger now.  I'm grateful.  So, although I am sorry some of my friends are struggling, I know they can get through this and be stronger on the other side.  Stay strong in yourself.

Give Thanks - Abundance

I am thankful that my family and I had such a wonderful Thanksgiving Day meal.  It all tasted amazing and there was enough for everyone to have their fill, something not everyone is lucky enough to have.

Seeing how today is Black Friday, I am thankful for living in a place of abundance where you can leave your home and go shopping for anything you want.  It is rare in this world. 

That said, I hate the materialistic nature of Black Friday.  I hate that people rush out with such greed and disregard for one another to grab up things they probably really don't need and can't afford.  Black Friday epitomizes a lot of what I think is wrong with our culture because we have no understanding of just how lucky we are in this world.  Greed is an unattractive quality in the end.

Give Thanks - Close Family

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

The most important thing to be thankful for is the closeness of my family.  We've had our differences but we love each other and we will always be there for each other.  There is also no one else in the world that quite understands me the way my family does.  They are where I have come from after all.

Give Thanks - Bucket List

I am so thankful for the things that I have experienced and all the things I get to dream about experiencing someday.

Some things on my bucket list are:

• See Northern Lights
• Release a Paper Lantern
• Have a Romantic Date Under the Stars
• Ride Horses on the Beach
• Walk on the Great Wall of China
• Swim with Sharks
• Swim with Dolphins
• Be Part of a Flash Mob
• Go to a Masquerade
• Experience Zero Gravity
• Zipline in South America
• Marti Grah in New Orleans
• See the Red Woods
• Go to Harry Potter World
• Go to the Kentucky Derby
• Celebrate St. Patrick's Day in Dublin

Checked off:

 ›  Hot Air Balloon Ride

 ›  Ride an Elephant

 ›  Pet a Tiger

 ›  Skydiving 

 ›  Backpack through Europe

 ›  See the Eiffel Tower on Bastille Day

 ›  Make a wish in the Trevi Fountain

 ›  Kiss the Blarney Stone

 ›  Lavender picking

 ›  Spend a week at Best Friends

 ›  Work with wolves

 ›  Zipline

Give Thanks - Safety and Open Minds

In the light of what is happening in Ferguson, Missouri, I am so grateful to be safe in my community.  Tonight, Ferguson is not safe.

Rewind.  This summer a white police officer shot and killed a young black man after an altercation.  This whole thing has turned into a comment on race and turned so negative.  Black people in Ferguson rioted and ended up hurting their community even more.  I am not going to get too much into my thoughts on it but mostly I look negatively on it all.  It is so sad that this happened but it is even worse that people are using this as a catalyst to destroy their community instead of coming together and strengthening themselves.

I am grateful that I am in a community that has been rocked (fires and floods) but did come together in strength.  I do feel safe here.  I am also so grateful that I am surrounded by people that have open minds and are willing to discuss and talk about problems without reverting to hatred and destruction.  It is something that I have cultivated in myself and I hope I can pass that on.

Important Video

Give Thanks - Friendships

I am rejoicing in two friendships that have formed over the last year and a half that have come to mean so much to me.  Ryan and Amanda came into my life through WagNWash and I hope they stay forever.  Ryan is a ray of sunshine with that edginess that I just love.  She lives life with passion.  Amanda is like the other part of me.  She knows what is in my head before I say it and we're so weird together.  I never have to explain the random to Amanda.  Love these ladies!

Give Thanks- Creativity

I had some time yesterday to be creative.  I made some necklaces with dandelion wishes.  I had a lot of fun, even if they aren't wonderful.  I'll get better at making them over time.

I need more creative outlets because, in my heart, I am a creator.  I am a writer.  I need to find more time to let that out.  I don't want to lose something I am so grateful for.

Give Thanks - My Dad

I had a meeting with my dad today.  He said that he wants to take each of his children out for coffee every so often to connect and be present in our lives.  It is small things like that that make him an incredible father.  We're all grown.  We're adults.  But sometimes, I just need the support of my dad.  I know I'll always get it.  I'm so grateful for that.

Give Thanks - Laughter

Find something to laugh at.  Everyday.  If you laugh everyday you have found something to be thankful for everyday.  Sometimes you have to make your own happiness in little moments.

Give Thanks - Simple Joy

As always, I am grateful for life's simple joys.  If you can't find the beauty in them then you're going to live in a darker world than necessary.

Some of my simple joys:

• Jeanine snoring
• Smarties
• Slippers
• Little gifts my man brings me from the airport
• Kitty meows
• Weird animal kisses with my man
• Car magnets
• The smell of Hobby Lobby
• Pjs
• Whitman's eyes

There are so many more that I just can't name them all.

What I would really love would be a Polaroid Camera so I can take pictures of a little thing I find beautiful everyday.

Give Thanks - Rescue

I am so grateful to be a part of something bigger than myself.  A member of a group of people that care so deeply and feel the calling of rescue.  Lucky Dog Rescue is a wonderful group of people that have done so much for so many dogs in this community.  I love it.

I love rescue but I couldn't do it without having this group and support to do it.  I have fostered in the past, most notably Princess, Bear and Jojo.  Rescue work is hard and draining sometimes because you see people that don't value their pets as much as we do.  You want to scream at them and shame them but, in the end, it isn't worth it.  What is worth it is taking that dog and doing your best to improve its life and place it in a home that will truly care and love it.  Sometimes you don't get it right but when it does work out, it makes all the losses and disappointments worth it.  I am so grateful to be a part of it.

I haven't been as involved in the past year as I have been in the past but that's because of my negative feelings toward LD and my shifting focus into a relationship.  But I still love every minute of it and can't wait to take a more active roll when I open my own business.

Rescue and helping dogs will always be something I am grateful for.  I hope other people are too because the rescue workers deserve some recognition.

Give Thanks - Jeep jeep jeep!

Living in Colorado Springs, you have to have a car to make it day to day.  I really wish we had a public transport system that worked but in reality we don't.  So you need a car.

For the first time in my life, I got to choose my car and I'm paying for it on my own.  That makes me so thankful that I am able to do that.  I had to be a little creative in how to afford it.  I had to give some things up in order to have it but that's an important life lesson.

I have ALWAYS wanted a Jeep so that makes me even more thankful that I was able to make that happen.  I also realize I need to name my car, as is traditional.  Suggestions?

Ain't she pretty?

Give Thanks - My Someone

I am attempting banana bread from scratch today.  I also have to do laundry and clean the house.  Look at me... all domesticated.  When did this happen?

I think my outlook has shifted in the past year.  I think I got really comfortable with myself and now I want to share my life with someone.  I've never wanted to take care of someone before.

I found my someone.

Give Thanks - Support

I have a lot of people who are positive influences in my life that I have called upon from time to time to find some support.  I am starting a very scary new stage in my life with my own business.  I have never been more terrified and I am doing my best to keep moving forward in a positive way.  I am so blessed and thankful for the people in my life that have been there to support me.

Today, Astrid and I went to Castle Rock to meet with Ana, a fellow trainer that has her own company and training space in Denver.  She is the model of success that we are striving for.  She's strong, she trains dogs how she wants to train dogs, has her own apprenticeship and holds seminars for world class trainers.  She is what I see myself as in the future.  She was SO wonderful to come down and meet with us.  She gave us so much support and answered questions.  Her support and insight was invaluable and I feel SO much better knowing that she is there and rooting for us.  If she can do this and figure it out, we can too.  We can do this!

Give Thanks - Endings

I am SO thankful today for having the courage to end something what was no longer working for me.  Today was my last day at LD and I was SO excited to be out of there.  It felt like a physical weight off of my shoulders that was crushing me.  As wonderful as it felt to escape, I was scared to take that step.  I often get scared of taking those big plunges, even if I'm miserable, because at least I know how it feels to be miserable in the situation I am in.  It could be even worse if I take a chance and change it.  That mindset often leads me to get in over my head and make mistakes to sabotage myself because I am so unhappy and unwilling to admit it.

I am so grateful that I was able to find the courage to take a step that really needed to happen, even if it was a scary step.  The courage to end something is valuable to us.  If we don't have it, we get stuck.  I'm no longer stuck!

Give Thanks- My Boys

What am I thankful for today?  Another just whatever day.

I am thankful for the warm little souls that greet me at the front door everyday when I come home.  Whitman can't wait to see me and I know he loves his momma.  Theo loves me to pieces in his own cat way.  I love that I get to come home to them both and know I can count on them being there for me every time.

I also love Jeanine but she's always out and about with me so it's different.  Plus she loves her daddy more than me.  Whitman loves me the mostest out of anything ever!

Give Thanks- Warmth

It was -12 degrees last night.  Today when I got to work it was 0 degrees.  That makes me very very thankful for heat.  I am so glad that my house has heat, my car has heat and that work sort of has heat.  I wouldn't survive this season that I love otherwise.

This morning when the furnace kicked on I was so happy.  I LOVE that sound.  It makes me feel safe and warm and very comfortable.  Jake was all hot but he can suck it because I don't think he realizes just how much I love the furnace on when I'm sleeping.

Give Thanks- Work Friends

I posted a out this not too long ago but here it is again.  One of my good friends left our store to go to another and I already miss her.  I love all my crazy work friends.  They have encouraged me so much to continue to be myself and have made working here something I love.  I hate seeing things change and I hope we can continue to be as close as ever.  Love them all!  Thank you all for being you!

Give Thanks- Soldiers

Happy Veteran's Day!  This day is for honoring those who have served our country bravely.  I am very proud to be an American and recognize that we wouldn't be the great country that we are today without the men and women that have served our military and fought for us.

I have always been proud of my Grandpa Joe, who served this country in WWII.  He lied about his age to get into the service and went over seas.  He landed in Normandy, was in the Battle of the Bulge and was awarded the Bronze Star for his service.  He never talked much about the war but I know he saw things that no young man should have to see or do.  Many of that generation did.  They were strong.  I hope people in this country can continue to be strong and serve.

Grandpa Joe on the left

I also am very proud of my brother, Geoffrey, who serves in the Air Force as a Captain and my boyfriend, Jake, who serves in the Army.  You both mean so much to me and I am so proud of everything you do.  I want to thank everyone who serves or has served.  It truly is admiral.

Give Thanks- Winter

It isn't a secret that I love winter and everything that comes with it.  I love big warm coats, snow, boots, curling up with hot chocolate, walking around wrapped in a blanket, snuggling, Christmas, winter silence, being warm when it is cold...  Love winter.

Considering we are well into November and haven't seen cold weather or snow yet, I was getting irritated.  I live in Colorado don't I?  What is with the mild climate!?

That was until today where we kissed 60 degree weather goodbye and welcomed winter!  YAY SNOW!  Thankful that I get to experience the seasons, but yes, mostly winter.

Of course I wish when I walked out of the bank and saw this that I had a better coat on...

Give Thanks- Sisters

Another bad day.  Seems when I fight with Jake, I just am a magnet for emotion abuse in other areas.  I have felt very lonely and crushed today.

But I saw my sister and cried to her.  I am SO thankful to have her in my life to help me through the hard times.  She has been a rock and a shoulder that I could never replace.

Give Thanks- Food

Kind of a suck ass day.  Not kind of.  It really was.  I hate fighting with Jake.

But I am thankful for the fact that there is food in the house and I've never had to truly face going hungry.  Problems I may face look small compared to that.

Give Thanks- Being Me

Not much happening today.  One of those days that just happens in life that you don't really look back on with much excitement.  I think we should be excited about something everyday but let's face it, not all of us are.  We all have those days when you get up, go to work, come home and get ready to do it again.  So I had to find something else to be thankful for today while still trying not to be too obvious.

So today I am thankful for being myself.  It has taken a long time but I am finally comfortable enough in my own skin to let my personality show and not care what people think.  Yes that was me driving down Powers with my radio blaring and dancing away.  And proud of it!

Give Thanks- Childhood

I saw this today:

It made me think of my doll I had growing up named Patty.  I loved her and she went everywhere with me.  Vacations, camp, sleep overs.  You name it, I took her.  For the longest time I couldn't sleep if I didn't have her.  

That got me thinking about my childhood.  I had such a wonderful childhood full of games, imagination and good times.  It was different from a lot of people's childhoods because we didn't play video games, we didn't watch tv, we didn't eat a lot of junkfood.  But I wouldn't change a minute of it because it made me a strong person that loves stories of heroes, running around, and being the person you want to be.  I wouldn't change it and I am so thankful and grateful for it.

Give Thanks- Coffee

Nothing really going on today so I'll just find a small pleasure to be thankful for today.  My biggest "small" pleasure is coffee.  If you didn't know already, I love a good cup of coffee.  Getting up in the morning and taking that first wonderful sip gives my soul peace.  Nothing like the perfect cup of coffee!  Thank God for it too because without it I wouldn't be half as nice and pleasant as I am to everyone.

Give Thanks- The good ol' USA!

Voting today!  I am very thankful to live in a country that I have the right to voice my opinion in the government.  Regardless of how it turns out, I am glad that I get to vote as a citizen.  It wasn't so long ago that it wouldn't have been possible simply because I am a woman.  It also isn't possible in every country of this world, which is sad.  I've always been proud to be an American and enjoy the rights that we have in this great nation.  That is why, not matter what, I exercise my right to vote.  If you don't use it, then why have it.  The people who don't vote very much disappoint me.  Be thankful for your rights because you don't have to have them.

Wedding

My cousin, Kayla, got married this weekend.  I wish it hadn't been this weekend purely for selfish reasons because we had to fly out to St. Louis on Halloween and kind of wiped out any Halloween fun, but I am very happy for her.  Jake, my brothers and my mom and I all flew out.

I always enjoy seeing the Hastings family because they are such great people.  I was a little disappointed that it didn't seem like we made much of a show of it like a normal family reunion but I am used to HUGE reunions where everyone is there and there is always something going on.  So this was a tame one in the broad term, which means it was a good one to bring Jake to.  He survived just fine and I hope they all liked him.

It was fun to see the aunts but I really wish we had more time.  I haven't been there in forever and actually had time to sit down and visit with everyone.  I feel like all I get to do is drive by visits.  "Hey how are you?  Love you!" and I'm gone.  It gets harder and harder to do those big visits when you're an adult and have to factor in time off from jobs and money.  I miss them though.

Anyway, we flew in on Friday afternoon and spent the rest of the day around St. Louis.  I took Jake up the Arch, which was fun to do again.  I always loved that as a kid and since he had never been before we journeyed up.

That night, my phone died of course.  So annoying.  So the next morning before the wedding I got Jake to take me to Verizon so I could see about getting a replacement.  Of course they had to try all the stupid things that I told them I already tried to get my phone working again... like resetting it and charging it.  Seriously, the people that go in there must be stupid.  Either that or the people that work there are stupid.  I was irritated with them so after we left we crossed the street and went to AT&T.  They bought me off of Verizon and I joined Jake's plan.  It will save me a lot of money in the long run but it actually took a lot more time to do than I thought so we only ended up having about 5 minutes to get ready for the wedding.

That was irritating but we made it there with plenty of time.  The church was very pretty and the ceremony was well done.  Kayla and her husband looked so happy.  That was great.  The reception was downstairs and a little to drawn out for my liking but it was all fun.  Weddings are a great time.

Sadly we didn't get much time past that and flew back out the next morning.  Quick in and out but it was good to see everyone I did and it was good to celebrate Kayla's wedding.  I know she has wanted to be married for so long and she looked so over the moon.  It is always great to see that much happiness in someone's face.  Many blessings to her!

Give Thanks- Work

I am back at work today from "vacation".  I am not always thrilled to be here, like today.  I would so much rather be at home in bed because I am independently wealthy.  However, since I am not independently wealthy, I am thankful to have a job.  It isn't a half bad job either.  We have fun.  I hope that it continues to be something that I am thankful for through the changes that are happening this month.  Even on days I just don't want to be at work, I have to remind myself that I'm thankful for the opportunity to make a living and take care of myself.

Give Thanks- Family

I've been at a family wedding in St. Louis this weekend so today I am thankful for family.  Although I've always lived far away from my extended family, I never felt like an outsider when visiting them.  Being back for a wedding is a great experience!  Seeing the love and support a family can give is an amazing thing, especially when you think about the fact that not everyone has that.  I am so thankful that, although I live far away, there are people out there that love and support me.

Give thanks!

Welcome to November.

Just like I did last year, I am going to post everyday about something that I am thankful for.  I am going to try to make it different from last year though and find other things to be thankful for.  Time for life reflection and seeing the bigger picture instead of getting stuck in the negative things that drag us down.

So firstly, there is a huge debate going on about life.  A woman with terminal cancer decided to end her life today with medication prescribed by a doctor.  As sad as it is to think of a young newly wed facing a tragic and painful end to her life, I am glad that she had the choice.  In my years of going to nursing homes and locked Alzheimer's wards with Gerani it was always hard to see how people can suffer at the end of their lives.  I've always believed that one should be able to make the choice to end your life with dignity instead of suffering and drawing death out.  Easier on your family instead of draining them emotionally and financially to take care of someone that is suffering.

Anyway, that brings me to what I am thankful for.  I am thankful for my health and that I have a life to live that is relatively free of hardship.  Some people's lives are hampered by their health and I am glad to have good health so that I can live a full life.  I hope to hell I never am faced with life and death health decisions.

That reminds me that if I am grateful for my health I should be doing more to stay healthy.  Damn... exercise it is.