Double, Double Toil and Trouble

Happy Halloween!

Can you guess that I love Halloween?  Every year it comes around and I swear it is my favorite holiday.  Then Christmas rolls around and I swear that is my favorite holiday.  So I figure we'll call it a draw between Halloween and Christmas.  I have loved Halloween since I was a child.  What is better than dressing up, going out and and getting free candy?  And it is a plus if you get the pants scared off you at least once.  Those houses where you had to go through some kind of Trick-Or-Treating maze or haunted house to get to the candy and then the skeleton next to the candy comes alive and scares you half to death... yeah those were the BEST houses!  Someday, I'll be that house and kids will come from far and wide to Trick-Or-Treat at my house.  Someday.

That being said, I haven't had much luck with Trick-Or-Treaters in the past.  The house we grew up in was not in a suburb and hard for the little kiddies walking around in their masks to get to.  So we only had maybe one or two Trick-Or-Treaters, not that I was there because I was out getting my own candy.  Then went to college and got some at the house in Boulder but not many.  There weren't many kids in the neighborhood.  Then we got more in the house out on Powers.  None in Manitou last year because again it was hard to get to.  So we'll see about this year in my brother's house.  I haven't been able to decorate much so who knows if the kids will come.  It is my fondest dream to have lots of Trick-Or-Treaters.  The jury is out on my new house.  I'm not sure if it is in prime Trick-Or-Treating territory and I won't be able to tell you until next year.

Yeah, this year's Halloween has been kind of a dud.  It saddens me.  I've just been so busy with other things and I'm REALLY not settled so ghoulish celebrations have been put off.  I didn't even have a costume this year which is unheard of.  I have been depressed about that so I've been planning for next year.  No idea on a costume but my house is going to freaking rule, thanks to Pinterest.

Here are some decoration ideas I'll be putting into play next year:

See my Halloween board on Pinterest!

I'll probably start making decorations in July.  Ooo it is going to be so spooky.  And I will have equal fun decorating inside but then I do have the dogs and cat to think about so I can't go completely insane as I can outside.  I'll start buying supplies tomorrow when things are on sale.  You have to think about these things.

And next year's costume will be legendary.  I am very proud of my last two costumes.  Last year we had a Zombie vs Survivor party so I was a survivor.  Specifically I was Zoey from Left 4 Dead.  (You rock if you know the game.) 

 The year before that I was a zombie.  Which I was also very proud of.  Let me note that I did the make up all by myself.

See how much fun Halloween can be?  And what did I do this year?  I carved a pumpkin because it would be horrible not to carve a pumpkin.  Keep in mind that I am not especially skilled in the medium of pumpkin carving so mine came out a bit like a drunk child.  But he'll be out there on the stoop!

Fun fact:  We owe the witches' brew (the one that starts with "Double double toil and trouble) to good old William Shakespeare.  Bet you guys didn't know that.  One reason to like McBeth!  See the witches' brew at the end.

So Happy Halloween everyone!  Get spooky!

from Macbeth

A dark Cave. In the middle, a Caldron boiling. Thunder.

                Enter the three Witches.

       1 WITCH.  Thrice the brinded cat hath mew'd.
       2 WITCH.  Thrice and once, the hedge-pig whin'd.
       3 WITCH.  Harpier cries:—'tis time! 'tis time!
       1 WITCH.  Round about the caldron go;
    In the poison'd entrails throw.—
    Toad, that under cold stone,
    Days and nights has thirty-one;
    Swelter'd venom sleeping got,
    Boil thou first i' the charmed pot!
       ALL.  Double, double toil and trouble;
    Fire burn, and caldron bubble.
       2 WITCH.  Fillet of a fenny snake,
    In the caldron boil and bake;
    Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
    Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
    Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting,
    Lizard's leg, and owlet's wing,—
    For a charm of powerful trouble,
    Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
       ALL.  Double, double toil and trouble;
    Fire burn, and caldron bubble.
       3 WITCH.  Scale of dragon; tooth of wolf;
    Witches' mummy; maw and gulf
    Of the ravin'd salt-sea shark;
    Root of hemlock digg'd i the dark;
    Liver of blaspheming Jew;
    Gall of goat, and slips of yew
    Sliver'd in the moon's eclipse;
    Nose of Turk, and Tartar's lips;
    Finger of birth-strangled babe
    Ditch-deliver'd by a drab,—
    Make the gruel thick and slab:
    Add thereto a tiger's chaudron,
    For the ingrediants of our caldron.
       ALL.  Double, double toil and trouble;
    Fire burn, and caldron bubble.
       2 WITCH.  Cool it with a baboon's blood,
    Then the charm is firm and good.

Digital bucket on my head

You know, I used to think I was pretty web savvy.  I'm fairly on top of things and when I'm not I can figure them out by messing around with them.  Lately though it has been revealed to me that the world wide web can clean my clock.  There is so much out there that I have a big question mark over my head about.

As you know I have decided to create another blog devoted to dog training.  This is a personal blog but I want my other blog to be professional and, hopefully, wide reaching.  So whenever I have a few minutes here and there I've been setting up various things for this blog.  During this process I have been rudely reminded that I'm a small fish in a very big pond.  I'm just kind of floundering about like the kid with a bucket on her head running into things everywhere and generally creating mass chaos in my wake.  That is indeed how I feel.

My blog savvy friend has promised to help me but we've both been so busy with various projects that we haven't really connected yet.  That has led me to kind of dive in on my own with very little direction.  I do have my blog set up though it is not beautifuied at all and I refuse to share it or write on it until it is.  I have also spent the morning setting up various other accounts to go with this blog.  So now I have a new email address that has been set up to forward to my main email address.  Check.  I also dove into Twitter and created a Twitter account for the blog because why not do it all right?  It did take me a good half an hour to somewhat customize that Twitter account to a somewhat likeable theme.  I'm sure I went about it the hard and long way but such is the way of a kid with a bucket on her head.  My friend tells me that I should also create a Facebook account but that's where I've run out of steam.  I already have two Facebook accounts, one public and one private.  I shutter to think of being that person with three Facebook accounts, two blogs, Twitter, three active email addresses and a partridge in a pair tree.  That is a lot of digital balls in the digital juggling universe.

I have so wanted to give myself a forum to be a little more involved in dog training.  I need more directions for that career to go in.  Since I have the degree, why not use it to write articles about the subject.  I'm going to be serious about it too.  Some will be opinion articles but some will be researched and cited.  I have about a million topics in mind so that should keep me busy for a while.  I am not going to be posting willy nilly though.  I'll choose a day and post on that day.  Either Monday or Friday maybe.  That way my article is anticipated and I have a week to write them.  I will steer clear of the "oh my dog is so cute!" posts.  Yes my dogs are very cute and I generally obsess about them but I have other forums for that, as you can see above.  The only time I will use more personal stuff is when my personal experience on a topic is the idea.  One such idea I have is about my extremely unmotivated dog and how to deal with that.  Or the health of an aging dog.  Or dog and cat interactions.  Other personal things I'll probably use is my personal journey becoming a dog trainer.  There are a lot of personal aspects I will be using but the idea is that it is a more professional blog.  So I will not be linking these two blogs at all.  People hopefully reading my articles about dog training do not need to read about my pet peeves.

Anyway, I will tell you the name of this blog.  The Midnight Barker.  Get it?  From 101 Dalmatians and the midnight bark.  If you have no idea what I'm talking about you should be ashamed of your Disney knowledge and go watch 101 Dalmatians immediately.  For those of you who are comfortable with your Disney knowledge but still need a little help, the midnight bark is how the dogs share information in the movie.  So there you go, The Midnight Barker.  I think it's pretty clever and totally riding the wave of Disney cool!

BUT... do not go looking for it yet because it isn't ready!  NO CHEATING!

More house stuff

I admit I haven't been able to do too much at the house lately because I've been SO busy.  Maybe a little lazy too.  Though right now it is hard to get much done there because there is no electricity, no heat and no water.  The electrician has his work cut out for him so it is going to take him a couple more days to get the wiring straightened out and the electricity back on.  Everything is kind of waiting on that.  My dad is probably going to redo all of the plumbing because he is amazing.  And then we are getting the furnace in next week.  Good news with that is that they are going to put the furnace in the cellar instead of the ceiling so it is available for maintenance and such.  Vents will go in the ceiling so we'll have the stack against the wall in the living room.  The backyard isn't ready for a fence yet but we're almost there.  The two shacks in the back were demolished and taken down.  The one in the center we kept.  There is a lot of potential with that.  If I can safely get heat out there maybe I'll do an office out there.  Which would be a little strange but hey it's kind of cute.  The new porch looks great and I'm happy we went with concrete over wood because it will last longer.

A couple more pictures:

Porch before

Porch after

Sheds in the back

Goodbye shed on the left

Goodbye shed on the right

I want to add that I got my first piece of mail at the house a little while ago.  A gift from my aunt.  Thank you for the wall stencil Aunt Pam!  I can't wait to put it up.

I just want the house to be done so I can live there already.

CPDT-KA Certified!

I was up early today and it was such a beautiful morning.  Crisp cold air and a light covering of snow.  I was out on the road watching the sun come up and glowing on the mountains.  I'm not a morning person but it was one of those mornings where you just feel peace.  I said that I was just feeling good vibes today.

Work was dull but I got a lot done.  I had an incredible meal planned out by the time I was ready to go home.  I picked up the dogs from daycare (Whitman has been passed out since getting home.  Sleepy boy) and went to get some groceries for my yummy dinner.

What did I have for dinner?  Baked summer vegetables and sweet chicken bacon bites.  Mmmmm.  It turned out wonderful though I did burn my knuckle.  Then for dessert I had a banana smore.  Oh mouth watering.

But the best part of the day?  Coming home to a letter confirming that I'd passed my certification test for my CPDT-KA, which is a knowledge based certification.  Wow that felt incredible.  Just looking down and seeing that  "Congratulations..."  I have wanted this for so long and done a lot of work to get here.  Now I'm certified.  It makes me feel like I have worthwhile and useful knowledge, which I know I have but it makes me feel validated.  It is just an incredible feeling.  I took the test way back in September and tired to put it out of my mind.  I was pretty sure I passed but at the same time what if I didn't?  It was just a lingering thought so I tried to just put it out of mind.  And then my training buddy got her certification and I kicked up the anxiety into high gear.  Thank goodness I only had to wait a day though.

Wow.  I am certified.  I am a certified dog trainer.  Wow.  Congratulations to me.  And to my training buddy!

Justice for Jessica

My phone gets emergency text messages.  Yesterday I was very glad to get a text message saying that there had been an arrest made in Jessica Ridgeway's case.  I've been keeping an eye on the case though law enforcement has been holding their cards close to their chest, as I would expect.  It is good to know they were working hard and took a predator off the streets.

A couple of days ago they announced a link to an attempted kidnapping of a woman jogger in the same area that Jessica was kidnapped in.  So this guy has probably fantasized about taking someone and doing horrible things to them for a while and then made plans to act on it.  His first attempt was not successful.  Thank God that woman fought him off.  However, that probably made him decide to prey on a more helpless victim, an innocent child walking to school.

I eagerly waited for more information after the text message.  I was shocked to see though that this predator was a 17 year old boy.  17 years old and already evil enough to abduct, murder and dismember a child.  There is something so wrong inside of him.  By all accounts I've read though, he hid the evil pretty well.  People seemed to think he was a nice person and very smart.

One thing I think about is how often high intelligence levels come with a catch.  People who are very very intelligent often have social problems or mental illness.  In this case, something very very wrong and evil.  I would really like to know more about him and his life.  Were there any warning signs?  Was his family structure normal or did it contribute to his behavior?  Nature vs. nurture.

It is entirely possible that his family did not wrong and could not have done anything to change him.  Honestly, I do believe some people are just born with something in them that makes them bad.  There are all these studies going on now about is there a genetic link to criminal activity?  In the case of serial killers and psychopaths, I think there probably is one.  Who knows if we will ever identify it or be able to do anything about it.  But in the case of run of the mill criminals, I think that is more nurture over nature.

Anyway, I'm glad they caught him.  I hope that his arrest brings some measure of safety back to the community.  Though he is innocent until proven guilty, I think a lot of people are going to feel safer.  I'm not sure what the family must be feeling.  I'm not sure anyone can until they are in that position and I hope never to be.  Either they're glad that the guy is caught and will be seeing justice or they are dreading the trial where there will probably be facts of the case revealed that no one really wants to know.  I think I would be feeling both if it was me.

I hope they convict him (if he is the guy who did this of course) and he should get a stiff sentence.  I support the death penalty in cases like this.  The death penalty isn't about an eye for an eye.  It is more about there are some people in this world that don't deserve to be a part of it.  We'll see what happens with his trial but I'm glad they got him off the street.  Though since he is under 18 when he committed the murder, the Supreme Court recently ruled that juvenile offenders are not eligible for the death penalty or mandatory life without parole.  I'm not sure how I feel about that in this case.  Can someone who has done something so evil be rehabilitated?  I think there is probably something fundamentally wrong with him that can't be changed.  I'm worried that killing is a part of him and he'll do it again if or when he gets out of jail.  Unsettling.

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Changes changes changes. What to do, what to do?

Life is a crazy thing sometimes.  I feel like I have gone through a lot of changes this past year.  And I guess I have.

• September of last year I signed my first lease on my own in Mantiou.
• Began a housing search that was much more intense than I thought it would be.
• Left my job at LD which was frightening, exciting, regretful and good all at the same time.
• Moved out of Manitou and am now existing in a state of flux.
• Bought a house.
• Slowly remodeling that house.

It's a lot to comprehend.  I don't tend to think my life is all that exciting.  Hollywood won't be making a movie about it any time soon, not even a bad daytime tv movie.  But that doesn't mean that these events aren't huge in my world.

I feel the need to quote one of my all time favorite tv shows now.

"Bottom line is, even if you see them coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So, what are we, helpless? Puppets? Nah. The big moments are gonna come, you can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are."
~Whistler, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Yes that might be a tad dramatic but it is still a very potent quote.  If life were a stagnant thing it wouldn't be worth living.  Changes, even when they form as bumps in the road, are a part of the world turning and life going on.  You never really know what is going to happen but when those big moments come either you put on your big boy boots and kick ass or you hide under the bed.  I've done my share of both.

So why am I getting all whimsical and philosophical?  One because my brain isn't entirely awake yet this morning and two because I've had another opportunity open up before me.  Whenever I am faced with a big decision like this I always get philosophical and deep.  If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around does it make a sound?

Anyway, the opportunity I find myself looking at is another job.  When I made the decision to get out of LD it was a really hard one.  I was comfortable with my work there, even though I did not agree with the people or who it was run.  I am comfortable working with dogs and I really miss that.  In no way do I wish I had stayed at my position at LD because it was strangling the life out of me.  People have told me I seem much happier now and that's a positive thing if people can notice that.  I walk in for training now and I don't want to burn the place down.  It's a novel feeling that I really missed having.  So no, I don't regret quitting except that I miss the dogs there.  Yeah yeah the job I have now is a good one.  The people here are very sweet and I like them.  My boss is an incredibly nice person.  They have AMAZING coffee machines here.  But... there is no soul here.  I don't know if that makes sense.  But where I sit, I can't see outside.  I never thought that would depress me but it kind of does.  I feel like I'm sitting in a sad little box like those lab mice that don't see anything but white walls.  Working here has really made me relate to Office Space more.  Especially the scene where he knocks down his cubicle wall to see outside and the beating of the fax machine.  And then essentially I do the same thing... everyday.  And it is things that I don't particularly care about and don't interest me.  I've always been the kind of person that if I'm not interested in a topic it is hard for me to apply myself to it.  I'd just really like to get back into working with animals.

Yesterday I was driving to my parents' house to visit with my cat and I happened to drive past my vet's office.  I had been meaning to call them about getting Whitman's teeth cleaned so I rung them up.  They know me as my family has been taking our animals to them since I was a kid.  Dr. Scott is an amazing vet and even saw my CCI dogs for free when they were active.  Whitman is not a huge fan of Dr. Scott but he's a great vet.  When I contemplated leaving LD I decided that I would like to work in a vet's office.  However, since I love my vet so much, it was the only vet office I really wanted to consider.  Only they weren't hiring.  I've been thinking about getting back into the animal field over the past couple of weeks so when I had them on the phone I asked how often they hired.  Turns out, they're hiring now.  What luck!  Course whenever I am faced with a decision like this I go back and forth and worry and stress but honestly, this is a job I have been waiting for.  It would be SO much better to work there than here I think.  So I turned in my resume and I have a job interview tomorrow afternoon over my lunch break.

This would be an amazing opportunity for me.  And honestly, I really hope I get it though I would feel guilty for taking this job and only staying for four months.  Especially since I strong armed them into higher pay than they wanted.  And my sister works here so I don't want to make waves on the way out.  I just always seem to feel like I am letting people down when I do something like this.  For example, when I left managing LD I felt like I was letting my employees down.  But if I do get offered this position I think I will jump for it.  It's a lot of changes all at once but it is good changes.  I'll just have to roll with the punches and try to make it up on my feet.

What else can you do?  Well you all can wish me luck!

Here's another question for you:
If a tree falls in the woods and only a deaf man is there, does it make a sound? 

My toes are freezing!

I got wonderful news in my email this morning.  Apparently a wealthy Nigerian businessman passed away recently and he has no family so he chose me as his sole beneficiary!  I can't believe it!  Millions for me to collect if I just send this very helpful but not so literate in English mystery person all of my personal information!  It is like winning a lottery I didn't enter!  ...  Please.  How do people fall for this?

In other news, I was up for most of the night with a twitchy leg.  It was quivering and twitching all night and kept waking me up.  It sounds like nothing until you're actually contemplating cutting your leg off so you can finally get some decent sleep.  I did find one position that was okay if I held my leg a certain way.  Then I would fall asleep and move so then of course in about 45 minutes I would wake up again.  It was still twitching a little on the way to work but now it has stopped.  Angie says I need to eat more bananas.  Usually I have about 6-10 bananas a week in my smoothies but I haven't made them this past week because I've been so tired and cold in the mornings.  So I need to get back into that and keep up with my smoothies.  That or cut off my leg.  Either or.

Speaking of being cold in the mornings, I am absolutely freezing right now.  Today is supposed to be 70 degrees so I am wearing a handkerchief skirt and my small slip on shoes and only brought a light jacket.  Since I park in my brother's garage my car stays fairly warm so that usually is enough to get through the morning chill.  Today however I took the dogs to LD and then stood outside chatting.  So that made me cold.  Then I blasted my heat in my car all the way to work so I was nice and toasty but then I get to the office and the AC is on to 60 degrees.  Doesn't sound cold but it is frigged because it blows right on me.  So I am sitting here shivering.  My toes are so cold.  I may go track down my sister and steal her sweater and put it on my feet for a while until the cold air cycles out of here.

It is true I would rather be cold than hot but that doesn't mean I enjoy being freezing cold while I'm sitting here pretending to work.  Even my fingers are cold!  I want a blanket!

The flu study at work is FINALLY over!  No more working Sundays.  No more dealing with the crazy flu people as much.  Thank goodness.  Since I worked yesterday I have tomorrow off!  YAY!  That is a good thing because I have about 15 things on my to do list that I can only do at home.  Since I spend the majority of my time outside of home that doesn't help me much.  And the best part, I get to sleep in tomorrow!  That means I'll probably wake up within half an hour of when my alarm would normally go off but it still counts because I won't have to listen to that damned alarm.  Days off are a blessing!  Though I still train in the evening so it is not a complete day off.  Still makes me happy though.

House news:

Pretty much finished ripping up the flooring that needed to be ripped up.  Found some gnarly flooring under the carpet in the spare bedroom.  It made me laugh because I can't imagine anyone wanting that on their floors.  We'll be laying new carpet in the bedroom to cover this and then getting new linoleum in the bathroom, kitchen and laundry room.  Someday I'll lay down tile but for now, linoleum will do.

I spent a lot of time pulling nails and hooks and screws out of the walls this weekend.  It was astounding how much was in the walls and just randomly everywhere.  I would have loved to see what was going on when the previous owners lived there.  It must have been a hodge podge of just everything imaginable.

My mom has been working hard in the backyard to make it habitable.  I really want to get that done so that I can bring my dogs over more often.  If my dogs could be there more I could work on the house more because I wouldn't have to go home to take care of them every so often.  Right now though there is just so many nails and random junk around that it isn't safe.  Not to mention that the fencing is extremely unsafe.

This week a lot of stuff is really starting to happen at the house.  At this moment concrete is being poured for my new porch.  Cheaper than a wood porch and I won't have to replace it in a couple of years.  Also it will be nice to be able to use the front door again without climbing up and jumping out that huge hole.  Tomorrow the electrician will be rewiring from top to bottom so that we can use the electricity in the house without burning it down.  The sheds in the back will be getting bulldozed either tomorrow or the next day.  Then this weekend we will be scraping the outdoor trim and repainting that before it gets too cold.  Though... it is supposed to snow on Friday so we may have to put that off.  I am going to paint the trim that is blue now a dark green.  The gutters that we put on will also be a dark green.  That should all happen fairly quickly here.  And we have also made the decision to put in a furnace instead of doing electrical heating.  I kept going back and forth but at this point I just need to make a decision and get some heat in that house so that it isn't unbearable to work in.  Windows will be done hopefully next week or the week after.  We are still getting a couple of bids there to see what we can afford.

I feel like things are really starting to get going on the house, which is fun to see.  I feel overwhelmed by it and I've been so busy that I have hardly been able to do anything on it.  Thank God for my parents who have been there almost every day doing something.  They are incredible people and know MUCH more how to do this than I do.  I would be so lost without them.

Flooring in the walk in closet

Flooring in the bedroom

Dad hard at work

Tragedy

Tragedy keeps happening.  A couple of days ago two women were hit and killed in the intersection nearest my brother's house.  It happened about 10-20 minutes after I drove through the intersection on my way to work.  I drive through it everyday, everyday since I moved in with my brother.

It is a horrible intersection because cars on the busy street are going 40 miles per hour and over, coming around a blind corner one way and down a hill the other way.  It is hard to see and you really have to be ready to get your butt moving if you are turning left out onto the busy road.  I hate turning there.  Not to mention that, at that time in the morning, the sun shines right into drivers' eyes as they go east, making it almost impossible to see for quite a distance.

Two women and a child attempted to cross the street and were struck by a car.  The women died at the scene and the baby was taken to the hospital.  The mother of the baby had four children, four children who are now without a mother in their lives.  She and her friend had just walked them to school and were on their way home.  It just reaffirms that you never now when your last moment is going to be.  Life is fragile.  It is so unsettling to see it snatched away so quickly.

I feel horrible for everyone involved.  The child who survived, the families and the driver and her family.  I think it is easy to be angry and throw blame at both sides.  The driver hit them in the street without breaking, witnesses say.  The women were crossing a busy 5 lane street in a bad spot.

One thing I don't agree with is the driver is being cited for hitting a pedestrian in a crosswalk.  As horrible as it sounds, I hope she fights that charge because it is not a crosswalk.  I go past there everyday and I have never seen a pedestrian try to cross there.  It is not marked as a crosswalk.  And there are safe crossing locations within less than a block in both directions, a marked crosswalk and a tunnel under the road.  The driver should have driven more carefully and slowed down if the sun was in her eyes and the women should not have crossed in an unmarked zone.  Both are crimes.  However, both are things that I bet EVERY person has done at one time or another.  It is just a horrible accident that it happened at the same time.

If I ever have kids, not only will they be taught to look both ways, but they'll be taught only to cross in crosswalks.  Come to think of it, I will only be crossing in crosswalks from now on.  The alternative is just not worth it.

I do hope all parties involved find a way to heal in their lives.

House snaps!

I have had no thoughts lately.  The thoughts that I do have run toward how tired I am.  What I wouldn't give to just have one day where I can do nothing but sleep.  Alas no.  I have too much work to do and a house to remodel.

I wanted to get a lot more of the remodel done but seems like it is going to be a slower process than I wanted.  Mostly for monetary reasons.  The big projects we absolutely have to get done are going to cost a lot of money.  I decided that I'll put off more in the kitchen in order to get new windows.  The house is going to be a bitch to heat so if I spend the money on the windows now I can save later hopefully.  One thing for sure, I can't keep the windows that are in it now.  I don't know how the people who had it before me lived.  They had no heat except for a wood burning stove and windows that probably give the same protection as plastic wrap.  They must have froze their asses off.  I am not that crazy so I need a heating system that works and windows that will hold that heat in.

Pictures of house and remodel...  Finally...

Backyard.  Demolition starts next week.

Looking in from the front door.  The arch is my favorite part!

Kitchen.  *Shutters*

Kitchen getting ripped out.

No more front porch.

Sad Tidings

The people of Colorado are having a hard year.  Houses burnt in the fire, the theater shooting and now a little girl kidnapped and murdered.  It makes me sad for my beautiful home state.  It doesn't do the people of Colorado justice to have two such evil acts committed here.

Most people that know me know that I watch true crime shows almost obsessively.  True crime stories fascinate me but I wish they didn't happen.  Especially when they happen so close to home.  Westminster isn't that close but it is familiar to me since I lived in Boulder.  It is a beautiful community and I never would have picked it for a dangerous predator to abduct, murder and dismember a little girl.  Though everyone thinks that about the communities around them.  It just goes to show that sometimes evil is right next to us and we don't even notice.  True evil can hide in our society and that is frightening.

As much as I like crime stories, I don't like watching them play out in the news.  On Oct 5th Jessica Ridgeway was abducted while walking to a park to meet a friend to walk to school.  The scary thing is, there was a window of about 5 minutes and just a couple of blocks where this happened.  In a regular neighborhood that I'm sure doesn't feel as safe as it once did.  Her mother last saw her leaving her home at around 8:30am and she normally would have arrived at the park to meet her friend in 5 or so minutes but she never made it.  Two days later her backpack was found in Superior, which is just a couple of miles away.  I knew as soon as they found it that she was dead.  She was probably murdered before anyone even began looking for her because no one knew she was missing until about 4pm on Oct. 5th.

On Oct. 10th, they found a body in an Arvada open space park.  Again, just a couple of miles away from Jessica's house.  The police didn't ID the body as Jessica's until Friday evening though.  I'm sure everyone was frustrated about why they couldn't just answer the question as to who the body was.  Police had to announce that the body was "not intact".  ...  What that means is just horrible and sickening.  It means they couldn't ID her from a picture or probably not from fingerprints (if Jessica had her fingerprints to compare them too.)  They had to use DNA to ID the body.  Without saying it in so many words, that basically let the public know the body was dismembered.  It is so shocking to me that this kind of crime can happen so close in an area that I would probably feel right at home in.

I can not imagine the immense grief her family must be feeling.  It hurts to think about.  I hope this does not destroy her mother.  She must be feeling so guilty because if she had just walked with Jessica that day or not missed the phone calls from the school because she was sleeping after her night shift maybe something could have been done.  Maybe.  But truthfully, probably not.  There is nothing her family could have done.  Whoever took her knew what he was doing.  He did it in the very small window where Jessica was vulnerable and he did not have any intention in letting her go.  When he took her, he was going to kill her.  There was nothing her mother could have done.  The blame needs to rest squarely on the shoulders of that evil man.

That said, I hope the police find him.  I wish there was something I could do to help bring justice to this little girl.  Her life didn't deserve to end that way.  Her family doesn't deserve losing her so horribly.  The whole thing is just too horrible for words.  It is exactly why I believe in the death penalty.  Because when they find this guy, he deserves to lose his life and his future.

Hug your loved ones.

I'm a home owner!

Finally!  It has been a long road.  I was just thinking about what I was doing a year ago and comparing it to where I am now.  I certainly wouldn't have guessed I'd own my own home.  Things change a lot in a year and we're not always aware that they are.  It's a strange thing.

At lunch today I signed my life away.  It was a huge stack of papers but it only too about half an hour to sign the whole thing.  Now that I own my own home you might think I understand what goes into purchasing a house but no, I still really have no idea.  I admit I relied heavily on my parents to figure it out for me.  I just signed the dotted lines.  Very adult of me I know but hey, it's complex.

So now a quaint two bedroom house is mine.  Granted I can't live in it until it is remodeled so it doesn't feel all that real at the moment.  Maybe when the remodel starts it will feel more real.  Or maybe when the remodel is finished.  Or maybe when I move in.  Or maybe when I've owned it for several years.  Or maybe when I'm ready to sell it will it finally sink in that I have a house.  Mine.  I could paint every inch of it black if I wanted to.

I am more excited about customizing it the way I want after my aunt's visit.  Seeing how excited she was made me excited too.  I can't wait for my wood burning stove and a cozy kitchen.  I didn't think those would be the two things that I would pick out.  Well yes to the stove but I didn't think I'd care as much about the kitchen.

I also can't wait to get the backyard perfect.  I'll have my fire pit set up and can you say smore roasting party?  YES!  And maybe a small garden where I can grow my own veggies.

... I really am much more domestic than I thought I was.  I guess that's not shocking considering I am such a home body.  I feel like pieces of me have just been waiting for this moment since I was independent enough to want it.  A place that was mine.  All mine.  Finally.

Going over there tonight so I'll take some pictures and post them.  We have to be sure to get the before and after pictures because I'm sure it will be quite a contrast.

Yay!  And you just know as soon as I get it all just perfect I'm having a party!  Oh yeah.

A warm blanket and a long nap is much needed

Even though it is only 9:25, I'm going to go ahead and label today a bad day.

I haven't been able to wake up yet.  I'm so exhausted I feel like I could fall asleep in my very uncomfortable office chair.

My back started hurting again yesterday so today I'm wearing my back brace which isn't relaxing or comfortable.

I have not had nearly enough coffee.  I think today is about a 5 cup day.

I'm PMSing so I am wavering between being pissed off about everything and wanting to put my head down on my desk and cry.

I was too busy last night to get my new dog blog rolling.  I was attempting to make my sister a cake for her birthday and kept running out of ingredients.

This is the third day in a row that I've been up before 6 and hating it.

I have cramps.

There are stacks of papers on my desk for me to get through and I can barely even look at them without going brain dead.

I want to go home.  I want to go home and snuggle up in bed and sleep off the bad day.  The fact that I can't is just making me bitter toward everything else today.

F*** you Thursday.  F*** you.

The Flu Week

I don't feel like I should complain much about work because even on its worst day this place is so much better than what I have put up with in the past.  But I think this week is worthy of a complaint or two.

First of all, where do I work?  That is a very good question.  There are three businesses that I work for so it isn't confusing in the slightest.  One is a drug trial company.  One is a sleep behaviorist doctor.  And one is a sleep lab company.  I am the door keeper for those three companies.  The sleep lab is a little bit scattered and disorganized but they're figuring it out.  Normally everything runs pretty smoothly.  Although there are some things to complain about, I just have to remember my previous employment and then I find myself thanking my lucky stars.  Usually.

This week is Flu Week and it sucks.  The drug trial company is doing a massive flu study that I have been in charge of scheduling for.  It has been a nightmare to figure it all out and call people and there are so many restrictions on how you can schedule.  Blah.  Doesn't help that we're scheduling older people.  Some of them are lovely and charming.  Some of them come from the stock of old person that screams at kids on their lawn.

I'm not exactly having fun with it.  I have to be at work at 6:30am, which SUCKS!  I am not a morning person.  Mornings were invented to torture us slowly until we can get enough coffee into our systems to become human.  True I used to work earlier everyday but that was a while ago and I have very much happily settled into my later work schedule.  So I hate this.  It isn't as bad for me as it is for the coordinators who have to be here from 7am-7pm all this week.  But I still complain.  Just more quietly in their presence.  Then for the next two Sundays I have to work too.  That means no days off for me until the end of the month.

I'm exhausted just thinking about it and must refill my coffee.

Whirlwind Weekend

That was a whirlwind weekend.  I need a couple of days to recover!  Good thing it is Columbus Day...  Wait... I'm at work...

...Columbus Day is a stupid holiday!  I didn't want it off anyway!  It's not like he did anything important.

So this weekend started out with a double puppy class for me because a few people missed last class so I was kind enough to come in and do a quick catch up for them.  It's not something I mind doing at all but I do tend to get irritated when people ask me to do them and then don't show up.  Luckily that didn't happen this time and they showed up.  I can tell they haven't been practicing much at home (yes your trainer can tell when you don't practice) but they seem engaged in class so they come out on the positive client list anyway.

After class I went home and put together a shopping list.  Since it is getting cooler I am breaking out the crock-pot.  I like the idea of putting together crock-pot meals six to eight at a time and freezing them.  That way in the morning before I leave for work I can pop them in the crock-pot and they're cooked by the time I get home.  See, in the interest of eating better I'm coming up with an effective plan of attack against the nights were I tend to eat poorly, coming off of my 13 hour day where I am just TOO EXHAUSTED to even contemplate cooking.  Enter the crock-pot in all it's crocky glory.  Of course for this plan to work I have to do a lot of meal preparation all at once on days where I have time.  This is the first time I've done it so we'll see how it turns out.  Anyway, I got my shopping list together and took off to shop.  I don't tend to shop in bulk so it seemed like a lot of food to me.  On the plus side, I did get to push around the cart and I did do some cart riding doing the empty aisles.  You have to make shopping fun.

I returned home with all of my fresh purchases and yes I carried them all into the house at once.  Second trips are for babies!  I got to chopping and filling bags and then I realized that there was stuff I was missing.  Damn it!  The shopping list I worked off of wasn't complete.  After I got done cursing I called my sister and bribed her with some Margarita Cupcakes to get me the missing items.  Which she did because she's the best.

And yes, I did say Margarita Cupcakes.  Caught that did you?  Yep, I totally made Margarita Cupcakes from scratch.  And they turned out WONDERFUL!  Yes I did have to resort to calling my mother to find out what the heck lime zest was (I will never hear the end of that.) but it was worth it for the complete scrumptiousness of the cupcakes.

After a long day of chopping and crying over the onions (first time chopping onions has made me cry) I trucked off to Angie's house to see her new DVD.  Very exciting!  Raising an Off Leash Puppy which she knows a lot about since she has a wonderful dog Owen to prove it.  Someday I'll be as cool as Angie.  It was well past my bedtime by the time I got home.

So as you can see I already had a busy Saturday.  Bring on Sunday.

It began with a family brunch which has become a regular affair.  My Aunt Kim was visiting from St. Louis and it was very good to see her.  I do miss my crazy St. Louis family.  After that I managed to herd her, my mom and my dad over to the house I'm buying so we could go over just how much needed to be done and what needed to be done first.  That is a whole different post.  I'm actually starting to get excited about how cute this house is going to turn out to be.

Then we were joined there by my besties Caitlin and Kathleen.  Caitlin of course lives in the Springs and had seen the outside of the house but Kathleen hadn't seen it at all.  She stopped here in her treck across the country with her mom to kind of check it out.  I hope she decides to move back here from Ohio!  I wanted a three bedroom house so both Caitlin and Kathleen could live with me but that didn't work out.  I love them both and hopefully one of them can move in once this house is finished.

Then we went down to Manitou for some lunch.  There is this incredible Middle Eastern cafe there with some of the best falafel I have ever had.  Not only is falafel yummy but it is so fun to say.  Falafel.  FA-LA-FEL!  Great word.  Did some quick walking in Manitou then we were off to meet my mom and aunt at Lowes to look at paint colors and such. 

Aunt Kim is an interior decorator and has some serious talent.  I will have to fly her out again when the house is finished so she can decorate it.  Between her, Kathleen and my mom we were able to get a nice pallet that I can use throughout the house.  It is very earthy and natural, which I love.  We also picked out some tile to frame the tile already in the house around where my wood burning stove is going to be.

Then we went back to my brother's house where there was pizza had and a movie watched.  Long ass weekend.

And now the first week of the flu shot study is starting which means for the rest of the week I have to be at work by 6:30am and I have to work on Sunday.  *sigh*

Nailed it!

I have to share that my nails look very pretty.  They're pink and cute.  And my toenails match!  Why am I excited about my nails you might ask, especially since I don't tend to be overly concerned with girly things like that?  It's because I've been a nail bitter since I could chew.  Up until high school I'd chew off all my nails and then wait a couple of days and do it again.  When I got to high school I began to covet my sister's long pretty nails but I just couldn't break the habit of nail biting.

I'm finally ALMOST broken of it.  My secret?  Nail polish.  I try to always have at least clear nail polish on.  That way I have something to pick at when the mood strikes instead of biting my nails clean off.  Granted it isn't a perfect system because once I pick off some of the nail polish then it all hast to come off.  I CAN'T stand having chipped nail polish.  That means I go through a lot of nail polish.  Also sometimes once the mood strikes I pick off all the nail polish and just keep going to the nails.

It also doesn't help that my jobs have generally been hard on my nails.  Working with dogs means I get banged up and things happen.  Polish chips and nails break.  And when nail's break you can pretty much assume I'm going to have short nails before the day is over.  If one nail breaks I have to bite them all off.  Compulsion.  OCD.

I'm trying to curb that.  Right now my pinky nails are the perfect length and so pretty.  They get broken the least.  They are the envy of the rest of my fingers.

Now I hope I don't crack on the pressure and bite them all off...

And yes, I did just do a post about my nails.  Because it's my blog and I can!

It's time to get political

Alright I've avoided it long enough.  Politics.  Ug.  Just the word is enough to exhaust me because my general view of politics is either toddlers pushing each other down in the mud or an endless rat race with not beginning or end and not much accomplished.  I would much rather stick my head in the sand and let it pass me by like many Americans but I don't believe that you have any right to bitch about politics or political happenings if you don't take the time to inform yourself and vote.  If you don't vote, you forfeit all bitching rights afterward.

My political past hasn't been all that exciting.  Since you can't vote until you're 18 anyway I never gave it a whole lot of thought before that.  It was an untouchable and unswayable ideology before that.  Granted it is still untouchable and unswayable but at least now I get to join the rat race like all the other exhausted rodents running on the unmoving wheels.  Keep in mind that I was raised in a Conservative Irish Catholic family.  My parents were always up for debate and encouraged us all to have our own ideas and opinions though.  That's where I learned that your opinion is not worth much if you haven't done the deep thinking and research needed to defend it.  Once again, "Because I'm right," is not a valid argument.  It's irritating as hell when toddlers blurt it out and it doesn't get any more attractive in adults.  So I have a healthy respect for debate as long as you are willing to actually debate and possibly eventually agree to disagree.

Then I went to college.  And I went to about the worst college I could have picked.  Boulder is a beautiful place, thus why I picked to live there.  However, it is also a very shallow and close minded place.  It is not a place to be different, no matter how much they kumbaya at you and tell you they accept all types of people.  First of all, it is a predominantly white community.  Second of all, it is a predominantly upper middle class community.  I found it to be a rather petty place where tolerance is much harder to find than any kind of drug you may fancy.  CU is a good school and huge, which I liked.  But it is so flooded with kids there on their parents' dime that partying is a way of life, not just something that goes on behind the scenes.  For those of us who had to work to pay our way didn't have time for that and had a hard time fitting in to the social scene.  I couldn't afford to spend time partying because I worked full time and went to school full time.  Plus I just really couldn't $afford$ it.  Add to that delightful atmosphere the way crazy political side of Boulder and the fun begins.  Saying people are liberal there is only scratching the surface.  There are a lot of communists, socialists, die hard liberals and agendas I couldn't even name.  I have no problem with people being of different political parties.  That's one of the great beauties of this country that you can believe whatever you want to believe.  I will fight for people to have that right.  However, what irks me is when people throw those beliefs in other people's faces in a disrespectful and degrading way.  Just because I disagree with you or you disagree with me doesn't make either of us less of a person with less rights to feel that way.  But if you want to throw it in my face at least back it up with some fact or strong thought.  Just because I come from a more conservative background, does not make me a horrible person.

Of course that is not the attitude I encountered.  I have a fairly open and laid back viewpoint.  There are very few topics that I will get truly passionate about that I get truly offended if someone doesn't agree with me.  It was kind of shocking to me how many people took an instant dislike to me because I'm more conservative.  And I've never had so many people ask that within the first couple of minutes of meeting me.  Not everyone was hostile toward me but the handful that were made the experience a bad one.  I had a hard time fitting in so I tried out the College Republicans but I wasn't really conservative enough nor dedicated enough to really relate well to them.  You have to be pretty dedicated to put up with the kind of crap the College Republicans got in Boulder.  I was called "Baby killer" more times than I can count.  It probably didn't help that it was a heated election year my freshman year of college.  I voted for Bush that year and I wasn't going to hide it.  However I was not at all prepared to be spit on because of it.  Yes, spit on.  That is the kind of behavior and attitude that is the problem in politics today.  I got really tired of that really fast.  One of the reasons I hated living in Boulder so much.  It was like a constant battle because I had a different set of opinions than the liberal majority.  And it wasn't even that I was that different; I was MUCH less conservative that any other Republican I met there.

So what are my beliefs and opinions?  I'll tell you.  Keep in mind that I don't have these opinions to offend people and I hope you are not offended by them.  I'm always up for healthy discussions and debates but I won't give anyone the time of day that wants to get personal over them.  If you don't want to know my political standpoints, stop reading.  No harm, no foul.

I am a registered Republican.  I am thinking about changing that to registered Independent though.  I do not believe in voting on party lines.  I think that the people who only vote on party lines and have certain opinions because that's what is traditional for that party are cheapening themselves and the system.  We have some wonderful rights in the country.  We have the right to believe in what we want to believe and not be persecuted for it.  We have the right to vote how we truly want to vote.  Anyone that throws that away doesn't really understand how lucky we are as Americans.  So yes, I am a registered Republican but I don't vote on Republican party lines just because.  I believe in researching each issue, deciding what is important to me and voting on THAT instead of just looking for the R and checking that name.  Usually that works well.  I keep my head down and try not to pay attention to the political poo throwing that goes on.  I don't get involved too much in political things mostly because I find it exhausting.  If I didn't believe it was important to take a hands on approach and exercising my right to vote, I wouldn't bother with politics at all.  But again, I believe that if you didn't take the time to vote you don't have the right to bitch about it.  And if you threw away your vote without researching the topics; that's almost worse.  Every year I am almost tempted to vote for whatever candidate does the least amount of smear campaigning.

To be honest, I think this two party system is ruining our government.  It seems like the two parties spend more time fighting each other than actually completing anything that helps the American people.  If they had any ability to compromise and work together without bringing to mind vindictive toddlers on the play ground I think more things would get done.  If a third party member had any hope of winning I think I would vote for them just to get someone else in office.  Sadly, voting for a third party member feels a little bit like throwing my vote away.  Still, I may end up doing that this election.

I don't like Romney.  I don't like Obama.  I have problems with both candidates and both agendas.  I don't think either of them would make a good president.  I almost shutter to think of Romney as president and I haven't been fond of Obama at all.  The whole thing is depressing because we're going to get one or the other.  I'm to the point of trying to decide which is the lesser evil.  Because I'm so undecided and torn this year, I did watch the debate.  I normally don't bother with those because again it just feels like "I'm right!" "No, I'm right!" "No I'm right because I'm smart."  "No, I'm smart!"  Bicker bicker bicker.  Blah blah blah.  But I sucked it up and I watched the debate.  And no I didn't play the debate drinking game even though it was VERY tempting and probably would have made it more enjoyable.  I think Romney punched through more of his opinions and commanded attention at the debate... but he also came off as kind of a jackass.  Obama just kind of stood there.  Which is fitting with the past four years of his presidency.  Honestly the most interesting character during the debate was the moderator, Jim Lehrer.  He was very polite and patient with them.  I would have told Romney to shut up and let me speak.  Yeesh.

So coming out of the debate, I'm not decided.  Not even close.  To amuse myself and maybe help me find some footing, however juvenile they are, I took some online tests to see where I fall.  Romney or Obama.  And....  I am split about 50/50... helpful.  Gah the way this is going I may not vote this election.  Either way something is going to happen that I like and something is going to happen that I hate.  Why stress myself out about it?  Because I so believe in taking part in the process!  Damnit!  Why can't I just be okay with not caring?  Damn my civic duty that I so respect and cherish.  I guess I will be tuning in to the other debates and I don't expect to know who will get my vote until the very end.  I may be staring at the ballot when I decide.

Here are some of the things I am pretty "solid" on:

• I believe in equal rights for the LGBT community, especially gay marriage.  I believe it is outright discrimination that prevents gay marriage.
• I believe in woman's rights.  That includes easy and affordable access to birth control.  Viagra is covered by most insurance companies so it is actually offensive that women have to fight for affordable birth control.  Oh and I don't believe it should be all old white men debating the issue.  Let's have woman's opinion on women's rights please.  
• Woman's rights also includes abortion.  I used to be against abortion because it is killing the potential for a human being.  However, as I got older I realized that I might make a certain decision for myself but I can't dictate that decision for other women.  There is a saying I heard that really hit home with me on this issue.  If you can't trust a woman to make the decision how can you trust her to raise a child?  That really resonates with me.  I can't make that choice for someone because it is impossible to see it through their eyes.  Nor would I want a bunch of old men making that choice for me.  So, as much as I hope I would make the choice for life if I were in that situation, no one should take that choice from me.
• Healthcare.  This is a hard one because I'm not sure what solution I want.  The fact is though that healthcare in this country is in a scary state.  SOMETHING has to be done with it.  It needs to be easier for people like me to get healthcare.  For a long time I didn't have any insurance of any kind and thank goodness nothing happened to me that I'd be paying through the nose for medical bills.  Now I have insurance with my new job but a lot of companies can't afford to provide it and people can't afford to buy it on their own.  It's scary to think about.  Problem is, I'm not sure which candidate has the best fix for healthcare.
• Gun rights.  It is my right as an American citizen to own firearms and no one better take that away from me.  Come the end of this year I will be exercising my right to own and carry a firearm.
• Immigration is another issue.  I do not believe illegal immigrants should be allowed to stay here because they managed to sneak in.  If you can't come here legally then you don't have rights here.  That said, I think that the immigration system that allows people to come here should be rethought because it is very hard.  We should keep in mind that we are a country of immigrants but that doesn't mean you get all the benefits of living here if you're illegal and don't pay taxes.
• Foreign policy is important to me too.  If you remember my post on Sept. 11th, keeping this country safe and fighting for our rights and our continued existence is important to me.  I am proud to be an American and I don't want to see other innocent Americans die just for the simple fact that they are Americans.  Terrorists are a threat and one of the world's greatest evils.  Our government should be able to protect us.  But then you have the fine line of what is invading my privacy, which is one of my rights, and what is keeping me safe.  Also, I'm not sure that the USA should be involved in so many global conflicts when we have so much work to do at home for our own people.  Although I have supported the War on Terror since the very beginning, I would like to see a lot of those resources come back home and help the people here who need it before we rush off and stomp the living daylights out of other countries.  Of course, that is also a fine line.  All these fine lines is why politics gives me such a headache.

I'm sure there are many other things that I have opinions about but my brain lost steam.  I tend to be socially more liberal and economically more conservative.  And in this election, I'm straddling the line more than I ever have.  Makes it really hard to vote.  Why can't they just share the position?  That might be the best compromise but then, of course, that would mean that nothing would get done because they'd be too busy pushing the other down in the dirt then crying about it to the American people.  Sigh.  See why I don't normally like to get too overly involved in politics.  Sadly, you'll probably hear more about this as the election draws nearer.  Somehow I am going to have to make up my mind.

In the kitchen

I've been attempting to make changes in my life.  Of course, like many people, my new years resolutions tend to be good intentions more than anything else.  One thing I have been steadily working on is cooking more.  I've always been able to cook but I don't necessarily like to do it.  I don't want to spend an hour cooking something that will take me 15 minutes to eat.  However, in the interest of eating better and spending less, I've started doing just that.  Eventually hopefully I will get faster because I do want to keep at it.

Pinterest has been a big help in this.  (which reminds me I need to post about Pinterest in general)  But anyway I began seeing some yummy looking things on Pinterest and began to gather them up.  Then I thought about actually trying them out.  So I bought a recipe book and put together my Pinterest recipes. 

I haven't tried them all, obviously, but what I have tried has been very good.  This is encouraging.

So tonight I'm making some Mexican Stuffed Shells.

The picture looks good doesn't it?  I have found that my food doesn't look nearly that pretty but it tastes just fine... so far.

I still haven't figured out THE system for shopping.  I did discover this site BigOven that I can upload my recipes to and create weekly shopping lists and such.  Now when I actually get to sit down and get those recipes on there it will be a nifty thing.  Until then I just kind of pull up Pinterest on my phone while I wander around the store.  And King Soopers is big into changing everything around so it makes no sense and is hard to find those little things.  I sent my brother to shop for this meal and he came back with taco shells instead of pasta shells and he couldn't find green onions.  (he's adorable).  I go to pick up those two things, and of course come out with about 15 more things than I needed damn them, and it took me about 5 minutes of staring at the pasta wall to find large shell pasta.  Finally found it way back in the corner.  Someone must be making A LOT of Mexican Stuffed Shells tonight because there were only a couple of boxes left.  I knew where to get the green onions and then my 15 extra items and I checked out.  Can I just note, that I will not go to a human checker unless forced to.  I like those self checkout things.

I must say that my stuffed pasta was VERY nummy.  Took me longer than it should have because I was watching the debate at the same time but I think this was a successful cooking experience.  

Mmm mmm good eating.

The how to!
Mexican Stuffed Pasta

• 1 lb. ground beef
• 1 package low-sodium taco seasoning
• 4 oz. cream cheese
• 14-16 jumbo pasta shells
• 1.5 cup salsa
• 1 cup taco sauce
• 1 cup cheddar cheese
• 1 cup monterey jack cheese
• 3 green onions
• Sour cream

1. Preheat oven to 350°.  
2. In a frying pan cook ground beef; add taco seasoning and prepare according to package directions.  Add cream cheese, cover and simmer until cheese is melted. Blend well. Set aside and cool completely.  
3. While ground beef is cooking, cook the pasta shells according to directions; drain. Set shells out individually on cutting board/baking sheet so that they don’t stick together.  
4. Pour salsa on bottom of 9×13 baking dish.  Stuff each shell with the meat mixture. Place shells in 9×13 pan open side up. Cover shells with taco sauce.  Cover with foil and bake for 30 minutes.  
5. After 30 minutes, add shredded cheese and bake for 10-15 more minutes, with the foil removed.  Top with any condiments you’d like (green onions, black olives, etc.) Serve with sour cream and/or more salsa.
6. Enjoy with yummy noises.

Guru in training

I have been informed by my dear friend Whitney that I suck at blogging.  No that's not what she said but the general meaning was there, haha.  I do admit this is true.  Beyond posting a new blog post and then sharing it on my Facebook, I'm not a big blogging guru.  Apparently there is much to learn.  So now, if you look at my lovely blog (which by the way I am proud that I figured out how to customize it at least a little) there are some changes you can take advantage of.  Above ↑ you will see a little bar below my lovely picture heading with "Email" in it.  If you submit your email address there you will receive my blog posts to your email.  Over to the right → you will see this little like three line design followed by "posts" and "comments".  If you click those, my blog will be added to your collection of blogs or other things you are following, if you are techy like that.  WAY down at the bottom ↓ you can share my blog on Facebook or Twitter.

So hopefully that helps get my blog out there a little more.  Not that there is anything of great importance on here as I am mostly writing it for myself and I'm not sure how many people read it.  But if you do read it you can now choose different ways to be notified of my various posts.  That being said I do promise to post more often.  When I get busy and stressed I only tend to want to do bitchy posts.  Then I feel like I'm just complaining and I don't really need to cement it in words.  But this is supposed to be a reflection of my life and sometimes in life I get bitchy and complain.  I guess anyone reading this will just have to handle that.  I do want to try to have more of a presence.

In my heart I am a dog trainer but I am also a writer.  I do write quite frequently but mostly keep it to myself.  I've been writing since I learned how to read and write, which came later in life than most people.  I have a pretty good case of dyslexia.  Dyslexia means I have a hard time reading or doing other activities such as math because decipher I symbols differently.  Basically I learn differently than everyone else.  So when I was in elementary school the teachers didn't know how to teach me and I wasn't learning anything.  They told my mom that I was just stupid.  Luckily my mom knew something else was going on and took me to get all this testing done and soon found out I was dyslexic.  After a couple of years of tutoring I was reading at a college level and able to work around being dyslexic.  I still struggle with some things, like my spelling or with math, but dyslexia didn't stop me from a love of reading and writing.  Heck I have a degree in English Literature with a focus on Creative Writing.

So coming back from that tangent, I love writing.  I have been writing since I knew how and have several pieces of poetry published.  In high school I took three times as many English and writing courses than was needed.  I also kept a blog that I recently reopened and looked at.  I was really open and honest in that blog.  Though before you ask, no I will not be sharing the link with you.  I downloaded the whole thing and plan on going back through it and rereading it.  In knowing who you are, I think it is important to remember who you were.  Doesn't mean you have to keep being that person but you should at least acknowledge life experiences.  So, though I may not want to share all my teenage angst with you, I probably will pull bits out here and there.

In the spirit of blogging and writing more I will make the effort to at least post something everyday.  I get caught up in these silly rules like "I can't post more than one post a day" and "If I'm going to bother posting it has to be something of substance".  Bah.  I don't think the blogging world has such rules, which is one of the reasons I so enjoy it.  So I will move the Blogger App on my phone to the front and do more blogging in general.  Yes, there is an app for that.

I really want to start writing about dogs/dog training and all that good stuff that I am passionate about so maybe in the next couple of weeks I will be starting a second blog to do that.  Whitney will have to help me set that one up so that it is SUPER cool and advertised.  Oh yeah.

Rambling post but there you have it.  Should probably find time to do some work between all the blogging I am going to do.