Musings

Things are coming together for the wedding.  I have an appointment for cake tasting on Thursday and picking invitations today.  I am going with the lavender theme since that was the first thing I picked out for my wedding.  Next is just the small touches that I am so interested in.  Excited about the whole thing now.  I always wanted a wedding but I wasn't always sure that I actually wanted to get married.  Well, I guess your outlook on life changes when you find that person that you can see sharing everything with.  I'm so excited about everything.  Can't wait to see what changes come in the next year and a half.

I don't know if I ever posted but I recently changed jobs.  Things kind of blue up at WNW but I am SO SO SO glad to be out of there.  Blessings happen in all different kind of ways.  I just don't do well when I feel people are taking advantage of me or treating me badly.  Fault and a strength.  I don't put up with it well so I am willing to sacrifice things to get away from it.  But now I have a job that I really love.  It makes such a difference to work with a different quality of people.  Professional people handle themselves differently and that is such a load off.  I hate petty, spineless people and I'm glad to be away from them.  And more than anything I am SO THANKFUL to be away from retail.  I don't like people enough to work in retail anymore.  It sucks.  It's a draining and horrible feeling when people walk all over you just because they can and you have to smile and be nice.  Hopefully never again.  I work at a vet's office now and I love it.  I thought about doing vet tech but I am glad now that I didn't do that.  I wouldn't want to spend all that money and time in school doing something it turns out I don't think I would like that much.  I love dogs but bleh.  I am happy to be up front doing more organizational stuff.  I always wanted to be a veterinarian as a child but that so is no for me.  Maybe with the move coming up in a year I will be able to focus on my loves, writing and animals.

I have a hard time sorting out my priorities.  Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a bit of a workaholic and in the past put everything I had in the world into it.  It has been a difficult transition away from that and thinking more about my social side of life and doing things outside of a work environment.  I struggle with feeling like I am letting people down and I still do.  But I am starting to understand that it is okay for me to have my limitations and it is not my responsibility to try to keep up with people who don't enforce the same limitations.  It does not mean that I am lazy or letting people down.  It simply means that I have to live my life in a way that I can maintain long term.  That is a hard learning curve for me.  I feel like I have been making so many changes in the last couple of years that not everyone understands.  I am just trying to find my way through life just like everyone else.  Maybe when Jake and I are facing the future together, the stress will ease on me.

Move forward in life.  That's all you can do.  If you're not happy, move forward and change it.  That's what I've been striving to do and that's what I will continue to do.  I don't understand how else to do it and I don't understand people who don't do it.

New Orleans and Cruise!

I finally got to scratch off a New Orleans trip off my bucket list!  That and Jake and I got to take a little pre-wedding craziness cruise.  It was a wonderful trip even if I kind of struggled throughout.  We flew out on Saturday afternoon and on Saturday morning I was feeling very sick.  I slept most of the drive to Denver and on the flight.  By the time we landed and got to the hotel I was actually feeling a little better so we were able to get out and walk to dinner.  We ended up walking to Bourbon street and there was a festival going on.  It was a lot of fun and busy.  I can not imagine the French Quarter during Marti Gras.  It must be mass chaos.  I used to want that on my bucket list but I don't think that it would be that fun for that long.  Still, seeing Bourbon Street up and running was an experience.  The music festival was going on all weekend so we spent Sunday walking around the French Quarter exploring and listening to music.  It was wonderful.  Of course though, I was getting over the cold and we ended up having alligator meat sausages.  I don't think they were cooked all the way through because I spent the evening with a very upset stomach.  Monday we had some hours to kill and my stomach was feeling better.  We were catching the boat that day so we walked down to the pier.  The hotel was expensive but it was a great find because it was within easy walking distance of the French Quarter but away from all the noise and craziness of Bourbon Street and within walking distance of the pier where we were catching our boat.  It was perfect.  So we walked down and waited in lines and lines and lines to get on the boat when I noticed my face was feeling weird.  It was burning a bit and turns out I was having some kind of allergic reaction and my face was breaking out in this really weird irritated skin.  It cleared up after a couple of days but it was just one thing after another because it was followed by a cough and stuffy nose.  I recovered though and had a wonderful time despite it.

Bourbon Street!

We took a five day cruise to Mexico and back.  We got on the boat on Monday, had a day at sea on Tuesday, Progresso on Wednesday, Cozumel on Thursday, day at sea on Friday and back in port on Saturday where we had a couple of hours before flying out.  I must say that it was fun but I couldn't do a cruise longer than that.  Jake and I aren't overly social or "organized fun" people so we did a lot of laying around and eating on the sea days.  There isn't much to do otherwise.  It was relaxing but after a while it is just like oh my God I can not eat anymore!

We were standing at the top front of the ship when it departed down the Mississippi River.

Our ship- Carnival Elation

Anyway, in Progresso we went and saw the Mayan Ruins at Uxmal and then had lunch at a little historic building where they gave us authentic Mexican food.  It was cool but HOT.  HOT HOT HOT.  I can't imagine doing something like that in the height of summer when it is melting hot.  We took the tour given by the cruise, which I am glad we did because we ended up being late back to the boat so they knew were coming and didn't depart.  I think the Mayans are cool but I just found myself wishing that it was more like something you would see in the US.  In the US there would be a whole museum to walk through to explain the culture and explain what you were seeing.  If you walk around the grounds, there is a lot to see and it was cool but there weren't any plaques or anything to explain what you were seeing.  And we found out that the cool stuff you are seeing is mostly refurbished.  None of the original stuff is taken care of, they restore it all and it doesn't look the same.  There is no explanation of how it is restored and how they know that it looked that way.  So it was very cool to see and walk around, I just wish that there was more.  A few plaques here and there would go a long way.

Cozumel was by far my favorite stop though.  We decided to do our own thing because Jake had been there earlier in the year for work.  We got off the boat and immediately caught a taxi south.  We just wanted to get away from the crowds and find something to do.  On the list was snorkeling, jet skiing, and possibly para-sailing.  We found this private beach down away from the crowds from the cruise ships.  When we arrived, we were about the only ones there.  Immediately, we decided to rent jet skis because there was only one other person out on the water.  It was so much fun.  I was giggling and laughing and then I got to drive and that was even more fun.  No, I didn't dump us or lose Jake.  I think I could do a lot more jet skiing in the future.  When we returned to land we had some pina coladas and enjoyed each other's company.  Next adventure we were thinking about doing para-sailing but it is SO expensive.  So we decided to go snorkeling.  I am a good swimmer so I had a great time floating and flippering around.  I love the ocean, which might be surprising because I'm a native of a land locked state.  While I was enjoying the fish with just my flippers and my snorkel, Jake was safely floundering along with his life vest and holding on to the lifesaver being towed by the little Mexican guy guiding us.  It was pretty funny I have to admit.  After we returned to land again, we took a taxi up to the other side of the island for some food and shopping.  Then back to the ship.

Feeding the fishies!

Ready to not drown!

International love!

Adventure seekers!

It has been a long time since I had a true vacation where I wasn't doing anything but relaxing.  It felt... weird but good haha.  And I know that I am looking forward to every second of my future with Jake.  If we can make it through being trapped on a boat together and not murder each other in international waters then we can make it through a marriage.  I can't wait.

Happy Birthday to ME!

My birthday was the 21st.  I turned 29 years old.  From now on, every birthday is going to be an anniversary of my 29th birthday.  Since so much is happening this year I didn't do much of a birthday celebration.  Jake and I just got back from our cruise so we didn't do much.  I told him that the only thing I wanted was a home made candlelight dinner.  So I got a home made dinner with tea lights.  That was so cute and so Jake.  I love that man more and more everyday.

Birthdays get me thinking about the years of my life.  It is funny how many occasions are used to look back on the past.  I have to admit 28 was so good to me.  I continued to build a relationship with a wonderful man and we became engaged.  I also left two bad jobs and starting building a future in two positive ones.

I am going to share a secret.  Every birthday I blew out my candles and made a wish.  I wished that someone would love me and I would never be lonely again.  I got that.  So this year I had no idea what to wish for.  I did make a wish but I won't tell you that.  I just hope it comes true too.

Happy Birthday to me!  Here's to 29 being a wonderful year!

Catch Up Wedding stuff

I should remember to write in this but I am just so gosh darn busy in life.  You know me, can't have a moment to myself.  And when I do, I like to unwind in other ways.  Need to get back into the habit.  I need to get back into the habit of a lot of things like exercise and eating right.  *Sigh*

So wedding planning is coming along.  I never thought that it was so much work to plan a wedding.  I mean, I knew it was in the abstract but actually doing it is a little harder.  Especially when you're not overly invested.  I want a nice wedding but I'm not high matenance enough to be that overly worked up about it.  We have most everything that we need like the photographer and catering.

Now that those are out of the way I am looking forward to doing the little things like figuring out my center pieces, music, gifts, and my Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed and Something Blue.  Those are the things about the wedding that I am looking forward to, the little details.  For example, I want to do a guestbook that is a little different.  Here are some ideas:

A type writer where guests can write a little note.

A Poleriod camera so they can accompany their well wishes with a picture.

Wooden hearts that I can put together into a collage later.

Those would be so much cooler than a boring over traditional book.  I don't want the boring old traditional wedding so I love planning the little things that are different.

For my Something Old I think I am going to carry my great grandmother's handkerchief with my bouquet just like my sister did.  For Something New, I have no idea.  Maybe I'll just use my dress as my something new.  Something Borrowed will probably be earrings from either my mother or my sister.  Something blue I think would be nice to do a safety pin with something blue from each of my bridesmaids included on it.  I am not sure that any of them will do that but I think it would be cool.  Either that or a blue heart sewed into my dress.

I picked my color scheme.

I am going to use the teal color, the light green color, and the lavender color to match the flowers.  I also think that I am going to add in a charcoal color.  Either that or the cream.

I need to find a DJ still though.  I hope people at my wedding do get up and dance and have a good time so that is important to me.  The most important thing is the pictures for me.  I got a photographer that is good at the captured moments.  I think those little captured moments are cuter and more beautiful than the planned shots.  I'll do those because those are important to my mom but other than that I want more of the moments that are small and real captured.

Anyway, I have other things I need to update about so I'll end this one.