Zion National Park

Spent the day at Zion National Park with a girl named Allie.  She's also here for two weeks from Florida.  We ended up doing two hikes and we were very proud of ourselves that neither of us died.  I really wanted to see the cool curved canyons made by streams but the really good one was too far to hike to for us out of shape people.  But still we got to see some cool curved rocks and beautiful scenery.  We hiked about 6-7 miles total which is pretty damn good.  I'm so blessed to be here in this beautiful place.

I had to take this picture to mimic the one I took on a cliff in Ireland.

Irish cliff

Angel's Rest

I'm having a great time here.  Every last Thursday of the month, Best Friends has a ceremony at their cemetery, Angel's Rest, for the animals that have passed away at the sanctuary.

Angel's Rest has all these marking stones for graves, trees of wind chimes and nooks where people have placed treasured items from their pets that have gone over the Rainbow Bridge.

The ceremony was very sweet and I stayed after to walk through Angel's Rest.  Standing still, feeling the desert breeze in my hair and listening to hundreds of wind chimes was a beautiful experience.  I thought about Vallie and I felt her touch on me.  Such a magical place and I cried a little bit.  I have a prayer stone from there that I am going to bring home to put on her ashes.

She's always with me.

I definitely cried while reading this poem.  So beautiful and true.

Don't Weep for Me

Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there

I do not sleep

I am a thousand winds that blow

I am the diamond glints on snow

I am the sunlight on ripened grain

I am the gentle autumn rain

When you awaken in the mornings hush

I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight

I am the soft star that shines at night

Do not stand by my grave and cry

I am not there

I did not die

-Anon

Amazed

Let me begin by saying happy birthday to my dear sweet girl back home Gerani.  I love her so much and I can't believe she's been with me for 13 years.  Here's to another 13 baby girl!

I'm really more bummed that I'm not there to celebrate her birthday over my own.  I already miss my babies so much.  I'm sure they're having fun with Auntie Caitlin though.

Best Friends is amazing.  I was kind of surprised to see how big it is.  I mean I knew it was big being that it is the largest sanctuary in the US but still.  You don't really get what that means until you see the many different layers of it.  It's nestled right into the beautiful desert and so many special animals are here.  It's like heaven on earth.

I'm getting to shadow the trainers around and it's very different but comforting to see they do the same things I would do.  The best thing is working with the dogs.  It is going to be hard not to fall in love with all of them and come home with at least one.  I have to keep talking myself out of it.

As much as I love it and feel like I fit here with the people, it has been such a surreal experience in a way.  I feel very much like I got plucked out of my life and just plopped down.  Might be losing my head a little.  If you know me, you know I rarely lose things, most especially my phone.  But I lost it.  Put it down and lost track of it.  So I really hope I can find it tomorrow because it would so suck to have to worry about getting a new phone while I'm here.  So unlike me.  I guess I have too many other things in my mind and since I don't get service in the canyon anyway I wasn't paying attention.  Oh well.

Why keep track of your phone if you're having such a great time without it?

I find myself in Kanab

Happy birthday to me!

I spent most of it driving to Kanab today.  Crossed over the Colorado/Utah border and kept on trucking all the way to Southern Utah.  It's been interesting to drive so far and see the changes in landscape.  Give me an audiobook and a pretty drive any day.  It really has me thinking that my next vacation should be a long road trip somewhere.  I think that would be really fun.

Anyway, more shots of my drive:

Anyway I got in to Kanab pretty early, about 3pm today.  I am staying with a girl about my age, Meagan, who is new to Kanab and Best Friends.  She's got a nice little trailer house thing, three bedrooms, but it is just her and her dog Porkchop.  I chatted with her a bit.  She's a bit of a Lord of the Rings freak too so we'll get along just fine.  Sounds like she's a bit antisocial just like me so that helps too.  I then just spent a lot of time relaxing and staring at the wall.

I'm not really sure what to expect about tomorrow.  It's my first day at Best Friends.  In talking to Meagan she said there probably won't be a whole lot going on tomorrow short of the introductory kind of stuff.  I am looking forward to the tour and just getting to see this incredible place.  How lucky am I?  I get paid for two weeks to be here.  Might even get to stay here.  Very cool.

Should be fun!

Over the pass!

I drove to Grand Junction today.  I had hoped to leave earlier on my quest to Best Friends but one thing led to another and I didn't get out the door until about 3pm.  I was putting off leaving but now that I'm on my way I'm really excited.

The drive wasn't too bad except that it was snowing pretty good over the pass.  Not great weather but the roads were okay so it wasn't a huge problem.  Driving in snow over the mountains is just the sort of thing Colorado girls do right?

I haven't taken a road trip in a while.  Usually when we drive to St. Louis, I sleep almost the whole time.  I get in the car, or any moving vehicle, and immediately want to sleep.  It's like a travel coma.  But since I'm driving by myself I have to stay awake.  I thought I would get bored but I haven't been bored yet.  I am having a great time listening to books on tape and enjoying the scenery.

I did take some pictures.  I am talented enough to take pictures and drive but I can't promise the quality of picture.  I tried to get some good ones of the snow and mountains over the pass but they didn't come out very well.  I would have liked to get some of the big horned sheep as they ran across the highway like squirrels but that was a time when I was trying to focus on driving so I didn't hit them.  So instead I'll share some other ones.

I rolled into Grand Junction just as the sun was going down.  My sister was good enough to book this hotel for me.  It's not a great hotel but hey I'll only be here one night.  Free internet and a tv movie.  Can't complain.  There is a City Market across the street so I will go over there to get some coffee and breakfast in the morning.  I haven't had any fast food yet and I'm going to do my best to keep it that way.

Tomorrow is my birthday but I'll also be arriving in Kanab, UT.  Exciting!  I really have no idea what to expect but I know this is going to be a great experience and I'm grateful to get to do this.

Well I shouldn't stay up late since I have another 6-7 hours of driving tomorrow.  Night all!  Thanks for the well wishes as I set out on this adventure.

Suspects

It's a sad story when two young men can ruin so many lives with an act of terror.

But they won't get away with it.  Not when we have these pictures of them.  Use the public eye as a weapon.  Someone will see them.  Someone will identify them and they will not get away with it.

Boston Bombings

It's weeks like this that make you wonder what kind of world we live in.  April 15th, two bombs exploded at the finish line of the Boston Marathon.  An event that was supposed to celebrate the strength of human physical endurance and pride exploded into terror, panic and confusion.  Three people were killed and more than a hundred injured, some horribly.  I heard it on the radio moments after it happened and now watching the video of the bombs exploding I can't imagine the horror of it.

Violence still shocks us as Americans.  I don't think the average citizen realizes how lucky we are that bombs do not explode on our streets regularly.  That type of violence is not a part of our every day lives.  And I think that we take that for granted.  Until something happens and shakes our safe world.  I think that it is important for us to remember that we are lucky to enjoy safe streets.

However, instead of focusing on how vulnerable we are, we need to focus on how strong we are.  Instead of focusing on a few evil individuals we need to remember the good in people.  When those bombs exploded we need to remember those people who rushed in to help the wounded without understanding what was happening and with little regard for their safety.  Also, Boston residents opened their homes and did everything they could to help anyone stranded or in need of it.  Runners finished the race and continued to area hospitals to donate blood until the blood banks were full and had to turn people away.  Horrible things happen.  It shocks us.  It hurts us.  But it also brings out the best of the human race.  We are a race that can hurt each other greatly but we are also capable of great compassion and love.  When a stranger rushes in to help a stranger in the darkest times, we see the light of the human race.  And that gives me hope.

Stories of Kindness
Boston Heros

A man mostly known for his comedy, Patton Oswalt, said it so well:
Boston. Fucking horrible. 

I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, "Well, I've had it with humanity."

But I was wrong. I don't know what's going to be revealed to be behind all of this mayhem. One human insect or a poisonous mass of broken sociopaths. 

But here's what I DO know. If it's one person or a HUNDRED people, that number is not even a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a percent of the population on this planet. You watch the videos of the carnage and there are people running TOWARDS the destruction to help out. (Thanks FAKE Gallery founder and owner Paul Kozlowski for pointing this out to me). This is a giant planet and we're lucky to live on it but there are prices and penalties incurred for the daily miracle of existence. One of them is, every once in awhile, the wiring of a tiny sliver of the species gets snarled and they're pointed towards darkness.

But the vast majority stands against that darkness and, like white blood cells attacking a virus, they dilute and weaken and eventually wash away the evil doers and, more importantly, the damage they wreak. This is beyond religion or creed or nation. We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago.

So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, "The good outnumber you, and we always will."

"The good outnumber you, and always will."  Remember that.  Always remember that.

I don't want to do this!

Unpacking is such a bitch.  I'm usually pretty good and fast at it but this time around I am dragging my feet.  I think it's because I have Best Friends hanging over my head.  I know I am going to unpack this and get it just the way I want then I'm going to have to pack it all back up and move again.  I am just so sick of moving.  I haven't had a solid foundation of a home in a long time.  It is so frustrating.  I get easily overwhelmed and then stop unpacking.

I've had people ask me why I'm bothering in the first place.  Obviously those people have not spend a prolonged period of time living with clutter and boxes everywhere.  I can tell you that living out of random boxes is not cakewalk.  It stresses me out.  It stresses me out beyond what I can handle at the moment.  I don't like stress.  I don't do well with stress.  I generally like to have things organized and clean.  I haven't lived that way in about nine months.

I'm really ready for life to get back to normal but I fear it is going to be a while before I find my normal again.  I guess that's life huh?

On a lighter note, I have been making some kick ass meals recently.  I made this incredible salmon dish with asparagus.  I think that jumped to the top of my favorite dishes... and I don't even like asparagus.

So at least my kitchen is unpacked and mostly done.  Mostly... some.

Gah.

I should really get back to cleaning and unpacking.

My new obsession

I finally got around to watching The Walking Dead and now I am obsessed.  Totally and completely obsessed.

How can you beat it?

Zombies, survivors, gore, guns, love and hot men.  Yes please.  Especially the hot men bit.

I mean, come on!  Look at that.  Yes please!

I'd totally run around at the end of the world during the zombie apocalypse if I got to look at that all day.

Even for people who don't like zombies, it's a good show.  It's character driven and really delves into the darkness of the human condition.  In a matter of a week I went through all three seasons and I'll probably rewatch them as I unpack more and more.

And I am going to say that you can't be my friend unless you can contribute to survival in a zombie apocalypse in some way.  No dead weight in my group, my friends.  So hit the shooting range and learn some survival skills.  Watch the Walking Dead and Survivorman wouldn't hurt.

Mmm mm...

Fight the Power!

I've been a posting slacker.  Basically because I have had a lot happening.  Sitting down and writing about it has seemed like a lot of work.  I have several topics I need to post on.  I'll see how many I can get through.

First and foremost, I quit my job at LI.  Why?  Because the doctor there was being a mega asshole and I think he wanted me gone.  I don't stand for people mistreating me.  I would never let it happen outside of the work place.  I stand up for myself.  Therefore, I should stand up for myself in the work place too.  That's one of the fundamentals I live by.  Stand up for yourself.  People can only mistreat you if you let them.

I kept trying to get things to change at the LI.  I kept asking for help and trying to work things out but at some point you have to ask yourself if it is worth it.  The point it got to, it wasn't worth it anymore.  The vice president that flew out regularly was a nightmare.  We'll call him F.  Now F is an older man and is admittedly from a different time.  When he was young, it was acceptable to be openly sexist and a general douche.  Nowadays, it is not okay.  It is not okay to invite the male employees out to comped lunches and not the female employees.  It is not okay to ask the female employees to bring you plates of food from a potluck or to get you coffee.  It is not okay to ask the female employees to fax or copy personal things for him.  It's just rude and rather disgusting.

In general LI was a rude and disrespectful company.  Couple that with an arrogant and disrespectful doctor and it was just a joyous place all the time.  I got tired of being dumped on and getting in trouble for things that were not my fault.  Four other people worked on that desk and none of them were trained because the manager wouldn't make them come up and train.  I can do receptionist work and I can handle being one of the underlings as an employee but one thing I do not handle well is being disrespected left and right.  If I don't like the job anyway then there really isn't any reason for me to hang around if I'm being disrespected.

So last straw happened and I said "you know what, I'm better than this.  And this company does not appreciate me."  So I was done.  Gave my two weeks even though I almost walked out right there.  That would have been more delightful but I did have respect for some of the other employees so I didn't want to do that to them.  I did use my English skills and wrote a really lovely letter to the CEO and vice-president about the predicament.  Too late to do me any good but I didn't want to be one of those people that just quits and doesn't try to solve the problem behind me and hands it off to the next poor employee to deal with.  Who knows if anything will come of it but at least I put it out there.  And I never have to go back to that depressing place.  I mean honestly, a little moral building would go a long way there.

I've been maliciously giggling to myself too as I hear about things there from my sister.  In the two weeks they had before I was gone they only had two interviews.  They offered the job to one girl and they thought she was going to accept but turns out the doctor and F both said some pretty disrespectful things in her interview and she decided not to take it.  The people covering the desk right now are the four untrained and useless people who were covering my lunches so I'm sure mistakes are being made all over the place.  Out of prospects for the position, they posted it on Craigslist and got about one hundred resumes but none of them are worthy.  Now they have no prospects, no interviews and are drowning.

There are two studies that they count on to make all the money throughout the year.  One is going on right now and they are so disorganized and don't take care of their employees that they were supposed to get at least one hundred and fifty people into the study in about a month.  In the last two weeks they've gotten nine people in.  Oh it makes me laugh.  Unhappy employees don't work as hard as employees that feel appreciated and wanted.  If they'd made me feel at all appreciated I would still be there helping them out.

Guess I was harder to replace than they thought.  Jerks.