Welcome to 2015!

Goodbye 2014 and welcome to 2015!  I can't believe that the year has come and gone already.  It really snuck up on me.  This was the first time in a while that I didn't really do anything for New Years Eve.  Work was terrible that day so I admit I wasn't in the mood to party.  We did end up meeting some friends at Noodles for a low key, off the beaten path dinner.  Then we went to the Broadmoor to walk around and see the Christmas lights, since that is something that I do every year and had yet to see this season.  I have to admit though, as beautiful as they were, I was so cold that we were only there for maybe a half an hour.  Then home we went and, since Jake has made me an old person, we went to bed.  At midnight, we were asleep.  We woke up, gave each other a New Years' kiss and went back to sleep.  That's how you ring in the new year man!

I do have to say, 2014 was such a wonderful year for me.  My relationship with Jake has grown and become something that I never thought to ask for.  I got to meet his family and he met mine.  We moved in together which has been amazing.  I never knew living with someone would be so natural and so wonderful.  I am so excited for 2015 with the love of my life.

I got to scratch some things off of my bucket list, most notably the hot air balloon ride which was amazing.  I've decided that I want to live my life with adventure.  Maybe I can't have grand adventures everyday but I want to do something adventurous every month.  Life shouldn't be a rat race all the time.  We need moments to look forward to.

I quit a job I had grown to hate.  It was souring my dream and I finally got the courage up to quit and get rid of that negativity in my life.  I want to continue that forward into the new year, no more negativity.  Life is too short for me to deal with people or things that make me miserable.  I don't want to be miserable anymore.  Although LD started out as such a positive influence in my life, it certainly flipped near the end there where I hated it.  It is weird to think that things can change so drastically but I think being honest about your happiness and not making excuses is very healthy.

I'm also heading into a new adventure with my own business which is terrifying but exciting at the same time.  I can't wait to do things my way and answer to myself and not have to worry about the crazy negativity of others.  I'm still pretty terrified of it though.

I got a pretty big promotion at WNW.  It isn't a job I want to stay with forever but I take pride in improving my situation.  I think I am outgrowing it rapidly but it is something that I very much enjoy right now.

Jeanine came into our lives.  I secretly hope she stays in our lives...

Going into the new year, I have dedicated the word "health" to the year.  I want to become healthy physically which has been something I need to dedicate more energy to for a long time.  Since I have a cruise hanging over my head in a couple of months I need to get serious about it.  Health also means mental and emotional.  I've been taking that seriously for over a year now and it brought Jake into my life.  There are still things that I need to work on and improve but that's life.  Life is a work in progress where we learn lessons and make changes. 

I hope 2015 brings health, positive changes and happiness.  I want so many things but there are two things that I want more than anything.  What do you think that is?

Hello Friend! Friend... Friend?

It's no secret that I am not the best friend maker.  I could never seem to find the people I wanted to hang out with in college.  I had no idea where one would go to meet these strangers that would be come my trusted friends.  Mostly I didn't bother with it.  Since then I've taken the lessons from my younger days when you made friends at school because you were all trapped together and didn't have to go seeking social situations.  Which mostly means I find friends at work or in activities that I am already involved in.  In the past two to three years I've really met some wonderful people that I love having in my life.  That was one of the biggest reasons that I put off leaving LD for so long because I loved a lot of the people that I met there and it was a huge social outlet for me.  Now at the Wag I have met some wonderful people that I love and that I have really opened up to.  It is hard to see some of them leave.  One of my very good friends is being moved to another store and I am "accepting" it like an adult and having my screaming and kicking tantrum on the inside.  It makes me sad though.  A while back another good friend left the Wag for bigger and better things and I miss having him around.

Yes we make friends with the people around us.  I am becoming better at opening myself up and making friends but I am not to the point where I can go up to a stranger or someone I barely know and attach my friendship to them.  Although I'm finding that I am not an introvert when it comes to the people I trust and if I am in situations I trust, I am not outgoing to the general public.  I still come down on the side of people generally suck.  So that's one of my friend-making downfalls.

Another is that I am pretty sucky at staying in contact with people.  I never seem to be able to make time for all the things I want to do and all the things I need to do.  I generally get stuck in the limbo of nothing ever gets done and I'm slowly losing my mind.  So, this friend moving has me really sad because I don't want to lose contact and lose this friendship.  RYAN!  Don't let me lose contact with you!

I have to try to be better about being open and really making time for the people that I want to have in my life.  I am getting better at cutting the people out of my life that I don't want to be there but harder at really seriously hanging on to the people that have come to mean something to me.  Character flaw.

Must. Do. Better.  Promise to myself that I won't let this fade away like other's have.  Pinky swear self!

Crafty and Spooky!

The winds of change are blowing, which is sad.  I am sad to see some things change and SO happy to see other things in my life change.  It is the changes that I didn't initiate that I am sad about.  I hate to see things that have brought me so much joy to my life end.  I can't tell you what it is until Monday but it has me kind of down.  I just have to remind myself that nothing can stay the same forever.  We wouldn't be happy if things were stagnant forever.  It is up to me to keep this in a positive light and look forward to the possibilities that it opens up for me.  Still kind of sucks though.

Anyway, other things.

Halloween is coming up and I've had some fun with it this year.  Every year, I say I am going to go all out decorating the house.  Someday I am going to have the best decorations and scare the pants off all the little trick or treaters.  I haven't quite made it there.  Something always seems to trip me up.  I have all these grand plans of making these things in my mind but in reality I'm a slow crafter so it takes me forever to do anything.  BUT... I did get around to making some great things.

First up Samuel and I were excited to make a bubbling witches' brew.  It really helps get into the holiday spirit when you have a kid that is just as excited as you are about it.  Having Samuel around is great because he gives me the excuse to do all the crazy things that I always want to do.  Anyway, I bought a cheap plastic cauldron and got two cans of the sealant foam that you put around windows and stuff.  We filled the cauldron with it, let it dry a bit, then stuck some creepy crawlies in it.  Tada!

Okay so I might have gone a little overboard and made it too bubbly but it was fun and considering I did it, I think it turned out alright!  Bubble bubble toil and trouble...

Next, these took me forever and probably annoyed the crap out of Jake because I had a mini explosion of supplies in my attempt to make them... but I love them.  Homemade gravestones!  Yeah right, I am not going to pay $40 for something I can make myself for a fraction of the price.  I had fun with these and next time I do it I'll be able to do it faster and better.  I admit I got sick of the painting so they are not as three demential and shaded as I would like but that will be for the next batch.  For now, I am tickled with how they turned out!

Next year, I'll add more on.  Pinterest is a goldmine of crafty things that may or may not go so well.  But the point is that I have fun with it and something halfway useable comes out.

Happy Soon to Be Halloween everyone!

Movin' right along

Well things have been moving right along.  No real complaints or observations either.  Work, sleep and work mostly. 

My brother is off doing training for the Air Force for two months so I have the house to myself.  It is rather nice.  Though it might be bad for me to live by myself because I am very comfortable home alone.  I would fall into the habit of being a home body and no one would ever see me.  Socialization is a good thing.  If I spout that in dog training then I really should practice it in my home life too huh. 

Anyway, I wasn't planning on it but brought Theo over.  I really missed him when he was living with my parents because my brother is allergic.  But now that my brother isn't there I needed my kitty back in my life.  He's such a little joy.  Whitman is so happy to have his brother back.  They are just absolutely hilarious when they play together.  I keep trying to get it on video but of course as soon as I grab my phone they stop.  Someday I'll get their boppit game on video and you'll all laugh.  I'm loving the nighttime snuggles too.  Neither Whitman or Gerani are huge snugglers so I'm glad to have Theo who likes to curl up with me at night.  Waking up to him purring makes me less grumpy.  Except when he's purring on my face.  That's not as much fun.

Work has been dull.  Even more so because I'm training someone.  So basically I just sit here and give directions every so often.  Yawn worthy.  However, now that I've trained several people I now don't have to worry about taking time off and such.  I also got to dictate my schedule a little.  So now I work through lunch and get off at 4 instead of 5.  I can't tell you how much it helps my moral to see the sun before it goes down.  So nice.  Work continues to be boring though.  Oh well.  Again, I'm glad to have a job.

The house... Ug. That sums up how I feel about the house.  It just seems to be one thing after another going on there.  I have a hard time seeing an end in all the remodeling.  That makes it hard for me to summon the energy to work on it in my already hectic schedule.  Which is not helpful in the slightest.  I just get really frustrated with all of of.  It is coming along, in thanks mostly to my mom and dad that are enjoying my home ownership more than I am I think.  I'll enjoy it when I can actually live in my own space again.  Sigh, sigh, triple sigh.  

I'm making small changes to life in the spirit of a new year, which is already a week and a half old, can you believe it?  One rule is I have to drink one bottle of water after my first cup of coffee in the morning if I want to have another.  This is a potentially deadly rule but not necessarily to me.  More to whatever unsuspecting soul approaches me too cheerily or too quickly on the mornings when I've only had one cup of coffee and am feeling resentful toward a world where this rule could exist.

The second rule is I am no longer allowed to spend money on soda.  I suspect this will be the hardest because my Mountain Dew Code Red cravings are my most potent.  But in the spirit of being healthier I need to cut the soda out.  Also will save me some money.  Doing this along with the water and coffee rule may make me seriously caffeine deprived though so approach me slowly and with no sudden movements when I look a little tired.

The third rule is I can only have fast food once a month. I'm not a huge fast food person to begin with but I do sometimes enjoy a large fry or a hamburger that I later regret.  I tend to eat fast food when I forget my lunch though.  So I've loaded up with healthy snack foods at work and the later lunch will probably help too.  And making smoothies in the morning makes it so I can last the day without being as hungry.

Fourth is only healthy snack foods at home too.  No more chips or cookies or whatever.  Instead I have healthier crackers and fruit.

And lastly I have to spend time outside everyday.  I want to walk my dogs more often. This means Whitman has to be less of a couch potato which he isn't thrilled about. Laziest dog ever.  Gerani needs to lose 5 pounds too.

So those are the changes I've come up with.  Hopefully they last more than two weeks.

Vents from the furnace to the ceiling.

Ripped out kitchen.

Living room.  Ripped out the left side there.

Changes changes changes. What to do, what to do?

Life is a crazy thing sometimes.  I feel like I have gone through a lot of changes this past year.  And I guess I have.

• September of last year I signed my first lease on my own in Mantiou.
• Began a housing search that was much more intense than I thought it would be.
• Left my job at LD which was frightening, exciting, regretful and good all at the same time.
• Moved out of Manitou and am now existing in a state of flux.
• Bought a house.
• Slowly remodeling that house.

It's a lot to comprehend.  I don't tend to think my life is all that exciting.  Hollywood won't be making a movie about it any time soon, not even a bad daytime tv movie.  But that doesn't mean that these events aren't huge in my world.

I feel the need to quote one of my all time favorite tv shows now.

"Bottom line is, even if you see them coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So, what are we, helpless? Puppets? Nah. The big moments are gonna come, you can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are."
~Whistler, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Yes that might be a tad dramatic but it is still a very potent quote.  If life were a stagnant thing it wouldn't be worth living.  Changes, even when they form as bumps in the road, are a part of the world turning and life going on.  You never really know what is going to happen but when those big moments come either you put on your big boy boots and kick ass or you hide under the bed.  I've done my share of both.

So why am I getting all whimsical and philosophical?  One because my brain isn't entirely awake yet this morning and two because I've had another opportunity open up before me.  Whenever I am faced with a big decision like this I always get philosophical and deep.  If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around does it make a sound?

Anyway, the opportunity I find myself looking at is another job.  When I made the decision to get out of LD it was a really hard one.  I was comfortable with my work there, even though I did not agree with the people or who it was run.  I am comfortable working with dogs and I really miss that.  In no way do I wish I had stayed at my position at LD because it was strangling the life out of me.  People have told me I seem much happier now and that's a positive thing if people can notice that.  I walk in for training now and I don't want to burn the place down.  It's a novel feeling that I really missed having.  So no, I don't regret quitting except that I miss the dogs there.  Yeah yeah the job I have now is a good one.  The people here are very sweet and I like them.  My boss is an incredibly nice person.  They have AMAZING coffee machines here.  But... there is no soul here.  I don't know if that makes sense.  But where I sit, I can't see outside.  I never thought that would depress me but it kind of does.  I feel like I'm sitting in a sad little box like those lab mice that don't see anything but white walls.  Working here has really made me relate to Office Space more.  Especially the scene where he knocks down his cubicle wall to see outside and the beating of the fax machine.  And then essentially I do the same thing... everyday.  And it is things that I don't particularly care about and don't interest me.  I've always been the kind of person that if I'm not interested in a topic it is hard for me to apply myself to it.  I'd just really like to get back into working with animals.

Yesterday I was driving to my parents' house to visit with my cat and I happened to drive past my vet's office.  I had been meaning to call them about getting Whitman's teeth cleaned so I rung them up.  They know me as my family has been taking our animals to them since I was a kid.  Dr. Scott is an amazing vet and even saw my CCI dogs for free when they were active.  Whitman is not a huge fan of Dr. Scott but he's a great vet.  When I contemplated leaving LD I decided that I would like to work in a vet's office.  However, since I love my vet so much, it was the only vet office I really wanted to consider.  Only they weren't hiring.  I've been thinking about getting back into the animal field over the past couple of weeks so when I had them on the phone I asked how often they hired.  Turns out, they're hiring now.  What luck!  Course whenever I am faced with a decision like this I go back and forth and worry and stress but honestly, this is a job I have been waiting for.  It would be SO much better to work there than here I think.  So I turned in my resume and I have a job interview tomorrow afternoon over my lunch break.

This would be an amazing opportunity for me.  And honestly, I really hope I get it though I would feel guilty for taking this job and only staying for four months.  Especially since I strong armed them into higher pay than they wanted.  And my sister works here so I don't want to make waves on the way out.  I just always seem to feel like I am letting people down when I do something like this.  For example, when I left managing LD I felt like I was letting my employees down.  But if I do get offered this position I think I will jump for it.  It's a lot of changes all at once but it is good changes.  I'll just have to roll with the punches and try to make it up on my feet.

What else can you do?  Well you all can wish me luck!

Here's another question for you:
If a tree falls in the woods and only a deaf man is there, does it make a sound?