Feeling Lost

So we moved to North Carolina and changed the whole life I worked so hard to build in Colorado, so worth it for my wonderful husband whom I'd do anything for.  Still, it hasn't been easy for me here.  North Carolina isn't so bad but I hate Fayetteville.  It just doesn't seem like a place where I fit in.  It has been hard for me these past couple of weeks.

When we first got here, I immediately went out and got a job at a vet's office.  It wasn't exactly the job I was looking for though.  First of all, so so so unorganized and what was organized was completely old school.  Not an office that had growth in it because the vet was as old as dirt and controlling as hell so when she either kicked the bucket or retired there would be nothing left of the practice.  Second, so so so dead.  No clients.  So boring.  Third, what clients that did come in were completely mistreated.  If I brought my dog or cat in and saw them treated that way I would be out of there so fast.  No need to restrain, hurt, panic, or stress animals that come to you for help and health.  The vet also shamed owners.  I have never heard such a catty environment totally trashing anyone that disagreed with them.  I would be completely the client they didn't want there because I don't allow my animals to be manhandled, I ask questions and have my own opinions, believe in training to change behavior and feed a biologically appropriate food.  They would have hated me.  And I hated them.  I tried to make a go of it but I couldn't get past the way they treated animals.  Very old school.  When one of the assistants kicked a dog in front of me that was pretty much it and I walked out.  Never to return.  Good residence.

Now I am in a rut because this is not at all the environment I am used to in relation to animals, dogs or dog training.  There is a lot of old school closed mindedness here and that's hard to crack through.  Especially when I am rather unhappy being here anyway and don't really feel like fighting the good fight.  So now I am disillusioned and not sure what I want to do.

I am bored and depressed and that is a long slide down that I don't want to have to climb back up.  So I really need to get in gear and find a job.  To find a job I have a lot of things to think about.  What do I actually want to do?  Dog training yes but I don't know if this is the place for it and is that a career I can do forever or is that more something I do on the side while working a career that can pay the bills?  I had it so good in Colorado with House of Dog Training.  I had no idea how blessed I was there and it is like a swift kick in the pants to have lost that.  Very discouraging.

I am kicking around the idea of going back to school.  Then, again, what do I want to do?  Do I want to get a business degree?  Do I want to be a vet tech?  Do I want to be a police officer?  What about something else completely different that goes along with one of my interests?  What do I want to do?  Ug.  I had this all figured out.  I didn't want to have to go through this again.

Huge kick in the pants of my forward momentum.

What do I want to do with my life?