I was in St Louis. My grandfather had died several days before and we were all in St Louis for his funeral. September 11th was always going to be a day I would remember because my grandfather was buried that day and it was my brother's 11th birthday. No one knew what was going to happen. When I woke up that morning I didn't know that in just a few minutes I was going to see something that made my whole body go cold.
We were staying at my aunt's house and I woke up late. Everyone had already eaten and was already getting ready for the funeral service. I was in the kitchen alone eating cereal when I turned the tv on. I remember wondering what movie was watching because New York City was smoking on the screen. At 8:03 Central time (9:03 in New York City), I watched the second plane hit the South Tower of the World Trade Center live. I remember my whole body went cold and I remember thinking, "Oh my God, this isn't a movie..." That thought was so distinct that it is one of the clearest memories I have. I just felt so much horror and disbelief.
I wanted to stay glued to the screen but I had to get ready for the funeral so when I could finally move, I ran down the stairs to get dressed with the radio on. That day was so chaotic and confusing. Between mourning my grandfather with my family, we were all trying to keep up with the news as much as possible. We heard about the other flights that went down but no one really knew what was happening. We just knew that it was a day that would change everything.
Everything did change. I never felt so horrified at the blatant hatred that could lead people to turn on other innocent people and snuff out their lives. I think I can attribute my resistance of organized religion to the feeling that such devotion to a cause that breeds so much hatred and exclusion is wrong. For me that came from September 11th. At the same time I feel a fierce pride in being an American. That day, it didn't matter who you were, we were all Americans and we were so strong together. If I had been old enough, I would have enlisted in the military immediately to fight for us.
The most immediate change I saw was in school. I attended high school on the United States Air Force Academy. I believe it is the only public high school on an active military base in the country. It was a regular high school until September 11th happened. Then the base shut down. No private cars were allowed on base, which was a problem for anyone who drove to school (probably over half the student body). Normally our school started at 7:10am and got out at 2:10pm. Those hours changed to 10am-5pm and everyone had to be bussed onto base. For those of us who did sports we had to meet at local areas at 4am and get bussed super early in the morning for our practices. For teenagers, that was hard enough. We were used to the guards at the gate but what we weren't used to was when armed soldiers boarded the bus to look at everyone's ID and check everyone's bag. It was intimidating to have a soldier with a huge M-16ish rifle shine a light in your face then in your bags. It was clear we lived in a scarier world.
It has been 11 years since I watched that plane fly into the building, knowing hundreds of lives had been lost in that second. The pain, shock and horror of that has not gone away. But I think it is important to remember. It is important to remember that every one of those 2,977 people who lost their lives. They weren't just American's; 372 nations lost a soul that day. All of them innocent. All of them with families that were left with holes in their hearts. Remember the heroes that died that day. The people on Flight 93 that banded together to take the plane down, sacrificing their lives for so many others. Remember the first responders that ran into the buildings while everyone else was desperate to flee. Remember every person who reached out to a stranger to offer support or comfort or to lean on each other. Remember every person that lost someone that day or has lost someone fighting for our country. So many of us have been so deeply touched and changed by this. I think it is important to remember.
Songs that capture my feelings of 9/11 and the aftermath.
"Have you Forgotten" by Darryl Worley
"Courtesy of the Red White and Blue" by Toby Keith
It is also important to say Happy Birthday to my beloved brother. You have been such a gift to my life.
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