Congrats Brother!

My brother graduated from college a week and a half ago.  We all headed out to Tacoma to see him and congratulate him.  A very exciting time to be sure.  I wasn't that excited with it but I hope he took it all in and appreciated it.  It is quite an accomplishment.

I really admire him for being brave enough to go out there and carve out a place for himself.  I do miss him though.  I have to work harder at staying in contact.

I'm very happy to have another English degree in the family.  Way to follow in my footsteps Riley!

Here's him coming by for his walk across stage:

Remember the moment you walked across the stage, Riley.  For me, that was the moment that I was proudest.  I didn't like school and didn't really care that much when I graduated but it hit me in that moment.  I had a college degree.  And it is something to be proud of.  Congrats my brother.

While I was there I did some thinking about college life.  In a lot of ways I felt like I was robbed of my college experience.  I didn't really get to choose a school I wanted and I've struggled with feeling jealous of my siblings who did.  I hated school mostly because I was so out of place and so unhappy.  It was a really hard time.  So it is hard for me to see people who had great college experiences and really grew as people/  I guess there's no crying over spilled milk though.  I'm luckier than a lot of people.

Still, had I been able to choose a place to go to college, I would have chosen Washington or Oregon.  It is such a beautiful area and I FELT at home there.  I love the weather.  It's so beautiful and just... perfect.  If I could move there with my house I would.  It's strange coming on the heels of having just decided to stay in the Springs.  I did commit to a year or two here but after that maybe I will look into moving up there.  I would be such a wonderful area to live.

Want to see some of the beauty?

It was a really good trip but of course as soon as I came home I got sick.  Of course.  It's over a week later and I'm still feeling sick.  I lost my voice the last couple of days and that was really hard.  You never realize how much you have to say until you can't say anything at all.  Really sucks.  Hopefully my throat will go back to normal here soon because every time I have to teach it hurts.  I'd like that to stop.

Oh and can I just say I'd pay good money for a flight with no babies and no big people who can't fly with taking over half my seat in the process.  I'd pay good good money for that.

Dreams Change

I've written about how my dream was to be a trainer at Best Friends.  I got my shot to go out there and it was a wonderful two week experience.  I loved working with the people and the dogs.  While I was there I did a lot of thinking about whether or not I could move my life there.  I've been doing a lot of thinking about my life here since I've been home.   It's time to make a decision.

I did get a job offer from Best Friends.  Due to circumstances there, it wasn't the "dream job" but after being there, I don't know if being a trainer there is my dream right now.  It is a completely different environment than what I was used to and fairly different than I thought it was going to be.  I did love the caregivers, they are wonderful people.  The trainers were enjoyable and do a lot of the things that I do.  However, I was not a huge fan of the management.  Wonderful people who do wonderful things.  I'm just not sure that my place is with them.

I spent the drive back and the last week and a half weighing my options.  A lot of this decision is emotional but it is also about trying to make the smartest decision for my life in this moment.  Thoughts:

Best Friends
Pros

• An incredible organization- Best Friends Animal Society is a driving force in animal rescue.
• Working with special dogs in need- Incredible, incredible dogs.
• Wonderful people- I felt like I could make friends there.
• Being with people so like me- I was with fellow dog and animal geeks.  I wasn't the crazy dog lady.
• A part of something bigger than myself- Best Friends is a part of a movement.
• Beautiful scenery- Zion National Park was just a taste of it.

Cons

• Living in Kanab- A very very small Mormon town.
• Management- I'm a little tired of working for places where I don't feel like management treat all employees well.
• Best Friends is it's own world- Not always a good thing.  It is like living in a bubble.  People get tunnel vision.
• Leaving family and friends
• Living in the desert- Beautiful but hot.  And very sandy.  I'd have to leave my beautiful Colorado mountains.
• I would start as a caregiver- I don't want to give up training.

Colorado Springs
Pros

• Family- I love being close to my family.  I would miss hanging out with them and I might become an aunt soon.  I don't want to miss that.
• Friends- Finally I feel like am a part of a wonderful group of friends.  I feel like I belong here.
• Training- I have worked long and hard to earn how far I've come with training.  There is potential to take this further.  Training dogs is my dream and I do not want to give that up.
• My house- I just bought it.  I just got to move in.  And it's not done.  I want to keep working on it.
• Colorado- I'm a Colorado girl born and raised.  Every time I look out my window and see that beautiful peak I feel lucky.

Cons

• I sometimes feel stuck

I feel like I've had my life on hold for a long time.  I need to make a decision and start heading in a direction. I thought that would be deciding to move to Kanab and be a part of Best Friends.  That was my dream.

But the funny thing about life is that dreams change.  What was your dream at one point in your life changes at a different point.  It's not always easy to find your way but that's also the great thing about life.  It was my dream to go work at Best Friends at a time in my life where I really needed that dream.  I needed a bright light to get me through that hard time.  Now I'm in a different place and I'm a different person.  I have a different dream.

Right now, my dream is to be here.  And what's wonderful is, I am making the choice to be here.  I could be in Kanab at Best Friends working my way toward being a trainer there but I am choosing to be here.  I have wonderful friends in my life that mean so much to me.  I have often said that I finally feel like I belong with a group of people.  It took me a long time to find that.  Maybe I'd find that at Best Friends too but right now is not the time.  My family is here.  Back when I was in college and struggling, I wanted so much to break free and become my own person.  I wanted distance to do that.  I now see that family is a strength.  They've come together and helped me so much.  I love them.  I have a career here I can pursue and I can still be a part of helping homeless pets in need.  Also, Best Friends is not the only amazing organization out there.  There is a lot more to explore before I get tunnel vision.  I have a house here that I've barely gotten to enjoy. Here is where I choose to be.  More importantly, here is where I want to be.

Time to take that choice and run with it.  I'm so excited!  Maybe I'll look at Best Friends again in a couple of years when dreams change again.  Who knows what will happen?  That's the beautiful thing about life.

(And yes I realize this is probably a pretty hokey post but I don't care.  Sometimes it's good to be a little hokey in life.)

Happy Mother's Day

I got to grow up with a mother who taught me to believe in me.  -Antonio Villaraigosa

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!  Thank you for you.

My parents also got me a card from my dogs for Mother's Day.  That really made me smile.  Guess they've finally come to terms with the fact that I don't want kids.  I already have my four legged furry kiddos.

Home again!

I'll say it again, road trips are fun!

I left this morning about 7:15 and hit the road home.  I stopped every couple of hours for coffee or to stretch my legs.  Otherwise I listened to The Fellowship of the Ring on tape and plugged away.  It is over a ten hour drive and I thought it would be a lot harder than it was.  But I think my plan to stop every two hours for a couple of minutes really allowed me to just go for it.  No problems and I actually had some fun.  I played the ABC game three times through but I didn't get a Q until I was coming into Colorado Springs at Interquest Parkway.  There really need to be more Qs out there.

Anyway, best part about being home, the welcome my dogs gave me.  I don't know how people can live with themselves and not come home to that wonderful welcome of dogs that missed you.  Even Gerani was dancing around.  I love them so much.  So good to be back after two weeks.

Oh Colorado I missed you!

Now I'm tired so I'm going to get in bed.

A blessed two week experience

Time to go home!

I have to confess, even though this has been a wonderful experience, I am so ready to go home.  I miss my babies terribly.  Two weeks is a long time to be without them.  Part of me wishes I had brought them but I know they're probably happier at home.  Caitlin says Whitman pines for me.  I know Gerani is far to proud and independent to let it show but I like to believe she's pining a little for me too.

Anyway, I haven't posted a whole lot about the experience I've had because I wanted to let it sink in.  I have a lot to think about and didn't want to broadcast it yet.  I will say...

• The dogs here are so special and blessed to be here.  A lot of them need a lot of work and really understanding potential homes but it is a great thing that Best Friends does here.  I have especially loved working with the Michael Vick dogs (may he rot in hell for what he did to them).
• The people who work here have incredible hearts and are my kind of people.  Animal people recognize something beautiful in each other's souls.
• I greatly respect the mission of Best Friends.  No more homeless pets is a wonderful goal.
• Although I fit in really well with a lot of the animal people, I am not quite as "crazy" about it.  For example, I smash spiders.  Sorry, I just do and I admit it.  I don't think that makes me any less of an animal lover but I definitely did not feel like I should admit that out loud.
• As much as I love Best Friends and this beautiful area, I still have a question mark over whether or not I can live in Kanab.
• I really enjoyed meeting the people of Best Friends but... there were some things I was not overly impressed with.

I have a lot to think about, not everything I am going to post on here yet.  For now, it is time to head home.  I'm going to make the drive tomorrow all in one go.  Hopefully I can do it because I want to see my doggies!

I am so blessed to have had this experience.  Thank you all for telling me I should go for this.

Small towns...

Observations of Kanab, UT.

Okay I've never lived in a small town but I was under the impression that small towns were supposed to be quaint and friendly.  Apparently not so.  The people of Kanab are not overly friendly.  I love the people from Best Friends because we're all animal freaks and maybe don't have the best social skills with people.  But the towns people are not all that nice, which surprised me.

We went out to dinner one night and the customer service was terrible.  Meagan told me that they just don't like people from Best Friends and it is VERY easy to tell who is from BF and who isn't.  So if you are, you're not liked.  Very odd experience for me.

Right now there is a lot of construction going in Kanab.  Both the main roads are being repaved.  I must just be used to the construction of larger cities that have to be well planned and executed or people will murder you with their cars out of frustration.  Honestly, not so in Kanab.  They stripped ALL the main roads and just started blocking streets off and there are cones everywhere but no construction.  Half the time you can't figure out where the lanes are supposed to be because the cones are around willy nilly.  There would be a mass amount of accidents and angry people if this was Colorado Springs.  Seriously, I've never seen such cone disorganization.  The OCD in me wants to go through town and put them all in straight lines and figure that mess out.  Yikes.

Another driving observation... people don't run yellow lights.  In Colorado a yellow light means hurry your butt through the intersection. Two people behind you might go too.  But not in Kanab.  I almost hit someone be other day because they stopped right when the light changed to yellow.  So alien.  Don't you have somewhere to be?

Oh and this just tickles me.  At the beginning of town there is a cop car.  The only cop car I've seen yet by the way.  About the second day I drove past and the cop car was in the same exact place I slowed down and took a good look.  I couldn't believe it but there was a dummy sitting in the car dressed up as a police officer with it's head turned out to watch oncoming traffic.  I just about died of shock and laughter.  I had no idea people actually did that.  Doesn't that only happen in the movies?  Lord have mercy this is a different place.  I tried to get a picture but I couldn't get it to come out right and I felt like I was pushing my luck.  If a real live cop came by they may not appreciate it.  Of course that's just my theory that there are real cops here because I haven't seen one.  Still, I do feel better knowing that Dummy Dave is on the job keeping a close eye on the road.  That will show those crazy out of towners!

Oh and I have to share this beer I found while shopping.  I laughed pretty hard considering where Kanab is.  This wouldn't be out of the question as far as I know.  Don't take offence though.  None intended.

O_O