Dreams Change

I've written about how my dream was to be a trainer at Best Friends.  I got my shot to go out there and it was a wonderful two week experience.  I loved working with the people and the dogs.  While I was there I did a lot of thinking about whether or not I could move my life there.  I've been doing a lot of thinking about my life here since I've been home.   It's time to make a decision.

I did get a job offer from Best Friends.  Due to circumstances there, it wasn't the "dream job" but after being there, I don't know if being a trainer there is my dream right now.  It is a completely different environment than what I was used to and fairly different than I thought it was going to be.  I did love the caregivers, they are wonderful people.  The trainers were enjoyable and do a lot of the things that I do.  However, I was not a huge fan of the management.  Wonderful people who do wonderful things.  I'm just not sure that my place is with them.

I spent the drive back and the last week and a half weighing my options.  A lot of this decision is emotional but it is also about trying to make the smartest decision for my life in this moment.  Thoughts:

Best Friends
Pros

• An incredible organization- Best Friends Animal Society is a driving force in animal rescue.
• Working with special dogs in need- Incredible, incredible dogs.
• Wonderful people- I felt like I could make friends there.
• Being with people so like me- I was with fellow dog and animal geeks.  I wasn't the crazy dog lady.
• A part of something bigger than myself- Best Friends is a part of a movement.
• Beautiful scenery- Zion National Park was just a taste of it.

Cons

• Living in Kanab- A very very small Mormon town.
• Management- I'm a little tired of working for places where I don't feel like management treat all employees well.
• Best Friends is it's own world- Not always a good thing.  It is like living in a bubble.  People get tunnel vision.
• Leaving family and friends
• Living in the desert- Beautiful but hot.  And very sandy.  I'd have to leave my beautiful Colorado mountains.
• I would start as a caregiver- I don't want to give up training.

Colorado Springs
Pros

• Family- I love being close to my family.  I would miss hanging out with them and I might become an aunt soon.  I don't want to miss that.
• Friends- Finally I feel like am a part of a wonderful group of friends.  I feel like I belong here.
• Training- I have worked long and hard to earn how far I've come with training.  There is potential to take this further.  Training dogs is my dream and I do not want to give that up.
• My house- I just bought it.  I just got to move in.  And it's not done.  I want to keep working on it.
• Colorado- I'm a Colorado girl born and raised.  Every time I look out my window and see that beautiful peak I feel lucky.

Cons

• I sometimes feel stuck

I feel like I've had my life on hold for a long time.  I need to make a decision and start heading in a direction. I thought that would be deciding to move to Kanab and be a part of Best Friends.  That was my dream.

But the funny thing about life is that dreams change.  What was your dream at one point in your life changes at a different point.  It's not always easy to find your way but that's also the great thing about life.  It was my dream to go work at Best Friends at a time in my life where I really needed that dream.  I needed a bright light to get me through that hard time.  Now I'm in a different place and I'm a different person.  I have a different dream.

Right now, my dream is to be here.  And what's wonderful is, I am making the choice to be here.  I could be in Kanab at Best Friends working my way toward being a trainer there but I am choosing to be here.  I have wonderful friends in my life that mean so much to me.  I have often said that I finally feel like I belong with a group of people.  It took me a long time to find that.  Maybe I'd find that at Best Friends too but right now is not the time.  My family is here.  Back when I was in college and struggling, I wanted so much to break free and become my own person.  I wanted distance to do that.  I now see that family is a strength.  They've come together and helped me so much.  I love them.  I have a career here I can pursue and I can still be a part of helping homeless pets in need.  Also, Best Friends is not the only amazing organization out there.  There is a lot more to explore before I get tunnel vision.  I have a house here that I've barely gotten to enjoy. Here is where I choose to be.  More importantly, here is where I want to be.

Time to take that choice and run with it.  I'm so excited!  Maybe I'll look at Best Friends again in a couple of years when dreams change again.  Who knows what will happen?  That's the beautiful thing about life.

(And yes I realize this is probably a pretty hokey post but I don't care.  Sometimes it's good to be a little hokey in life.)