Zexy Motorcycle!

Life has been happening.  I had a great conversation with my sister the other day about life in general.  Whenever I need to shine light on things in my life and figure stuff out I just need to talk to my sister.  She's so good at helping me see things better so I don't talk myself in circles and get wrapped up in the crazy.  What do people do without sisters like her?  It must make life a lot harder.

I was talking about how in the past six months my life has changed so much.  I feel like I'm coming into my own skin and becoming someone I really want to be.  I'm comfortable with myself and I love that.  That does mean I have to get used to my priorities changing.  For a long time my priority has been work.  Just work work work.  Now I want other things in my life.  I want to enjoy free time and do things that make life worth living.  Working all the time isn't it.  Especially now that I have someone in my life that I WANT to spend time with.  I want to make plans and have extra time to relax with him.  I have to make changes to get that.  I have to let go of some things, which I am not good at.

Remember Allison: 

I need to look at that everyday when I feel my resolve to move on weakening.

Anyway, Jake has a motorcycle.  His other girl is quite a beauty.

Oh yeah, look at that sexy thing.  He looks good riding it too.  I've always wanted to ride one so Jake took me out last week and bought me a helmet.  Isn't he sweet?  So now I get to ride around with him.  It isn't exactly comfortable for the long haul but man is it fun.  I thought I would be scared at first but it was a lot of fun as long as I'm hanging on.  I trust that Jake won't kill me as long as I don't lean too far or something.  It will be even better as we work out a system to communicate to each other.  It would be nice to know when a turn or bump is coming up.  Look for us to be zipping around town as it gets warmer and warmer.

So it is a lot of fun but it isn't exactly comfortable as you may assume.  I have to crouch and hold on with my thighs.  Man my thighs and hips were sore after that.  Ow.  I'm going to have to do some stretching and more running to get in shape to ride with him long term.  Which I can't wait to do as we're thinking a road trip may be needed in the future.  Eeee!  Too much fun.

I've had way too many bumps on the head in my past so it is good that I now have a helmet.  I wouldn't ride without one anyway.  I do have to decorate it though because the size that fit me best only came in mat black.  Which is fine.  Maybe I'll put some white lightening on it or something haha.  Or maybe a dog!  Jake would love that.  After that I need to get one of those armored jackets so if we take a spill I don't leave my skin all over the pavement. I do like my skin where it is.

I can't wait to ride around more with him!  One thing to look forward to for summer.  

Attempt at the Northern Lights

Earlier last week there was some hoopla about the Northern Lights possibly being visible in Colorado because of some solar flare or something like that.  I've lived here all my life and I've only ever seen the Northern Lights once here when I lived in Boulder.  So of course I wanted to go see them.  It's the Northern Lights, you don't pass up a chance to see those right?

A group of us got together and decided to drive up to Red Rocks near Denver to see if there was anything we could see.  First we went to this secluded area off a mountain highway and had some beers.  Sadly, the wind was cold so there was a lot of huddling in the back of the car for warmth.  There was a clear spot right above us but the clouds were low and shifting around.  The lights from Denver were reflecting off the low clouds so it wasn't as dark as it needed to be I think.

After a while we decided to head to Red Rocks.  It's such a beautiful area that, if we had been able to see the Northern Lights, that would have been the place to do it.  That was the same idea that A LOT of people had.  There were quite a few cars around and it was kind of funny because everyone was trying not to disturb other people with their lights.  Then there were the people that didn't care and just blasted their lights everywhere.

It didn't really matter because there wasn't anything to see.  Either the clouds were covering everything, or the reflecting light was too bright or the Northern Lights didn't make it that far south this time.  Either way our trip was for not.  Still, it was lots of fun.  I am so happy now that I have friends in my life that I can be myself with and man we have fun.  It's wonderful to have friends that I can call on for a spur of the moment drive to see the Northern Lights.  That's something.

Shay, Kathleen and I.

Stop feeling stuck

Finally got some time to clean.  I reorganized a bit and it feels pretty good to get things under control again.  When I get busy and stressed, which I pretty much am always busy which has the potential to make me stressed, things like cleaning the house and organizing my life goes by the wayside.  Between work, training starting again and my social life, I feel like I rarely have time for myself anymore.  Good thing and a bad thing.  One one hand, I was in a rut of having a lot of time to myself.  Did that for years.  But I am also the kind of person that when I don't have time to myself to decompress and what not I get to feeling a little overwhelmed.  So it has been good to have the morning off to do some much needed cleaning.

Life has been good.  I am ramping up training again and I'm on the fence about that.  It felt SO good not to have to worry about it for a while.  That is probably a hint to my life.  I ran into Sandy from CCI the other day.  She was my trainer when I was raising puppies at CCI and she remembered me.  She has a program  now that she raises and trains service dogs on a smaller scale.  We got to talking and I told her that service dogs were really where my heart was and I would love to get back into it.  I think that having obedience under my belt is really important but day after day of the same thing is driving me a bit crazy.  Service dogs feel like I am actually helping someone.  That's the reason I like rescue.  Anyway, we got to talking and she told me that she's open to having someone take over the training side of her organization more because she'd like to do more traveling with her dogs to crisis points and such.  That would be an incredible opportunity.  Downside, not paid.  Upside, networking.

This really reminds me how much I need to get a puppy that can be a really solid dog again.  Whitman is wonderful and I love him dearly but he will never be a demo dog and he'll never be service or therapy dog material.  That's fine.  But that's what I want in a dog.  So I need to decide if I am going to start looking at breeders to get a really bomb proof puppy or if I am going to get involved in a program like CCI as a puppy raiser again.  I've thought about it and doing CCI would really be what I want to do.  There's no guarentee that I would get that puppy back, that's not really the point, but it is such a wonderful program and I got two incredible dogs out of it.

Sometimes I feel stuck but I need to remind myself that I'm only 27 and still young.  There is still so much time for me to do the things I want, even if I'm not 100% sure what that is.  I recently read The Profiler: My Life Hunting Serial Killers and Psychopaths by Pat Brown, furthering my education into the creepy criminal mind and true crime, and it actually really inspired me in a way that has nothing to do with my crime obsession.  She was in her 30s when she became interested in the criminal mind and profiling.  Her career didn't really get started in that until she was in her late 40s.  But she made the decision that it was something she was interested in and something she wanted to do and went after it.  If you have the drive and the belief that you can do something and go for it you can do it.  Maybe finding that out later in life is a blessing in some ways.

So I need to stop feeling trapped.  Wherever I end up, go or stay, it was a choice on my part.  You choose to do something and you choose not to do something.  Either way it is a choice.  That's the beauty of life.  I say it over and over again.  Why don't I listen to myself?

Snow makes me lazy

So far this year I've enjoyed hanging out with Jake and being lazy.  I need to make sure that my life is getting on track but I don't have much motivation.  The thought of looking for another job that pays better and maybe doing a change in where and how I train dogs is daunting.  I don't want to change but more and more I think I need to.

It snowed today, which was lovely.  I had a lot I needed to do today but I just couldn't seem to be motivated.  So my boys and I snuggled up and decided to nap.  It was lovely.  I love being snug as a bug in a rug when it is cold and snowing.

Kathleen has just taken off for her boyfriend's house so I may shower and get ready for bed... Or I should get up and eat something for dinner.  I've had peanut butter and chocolate donuts for dinner so far.

Eating healthy was not one of my resolutions.  Can you tell?  Haha!

One thing I did do today was went back and published my blog.  I've had it closed off for a while so only I could see it but I guess I should just freaking publish it.  November was a good month because every day that month I decided I would reflect on something that I was thankful for.  That's a good exercise to do.

My one resolution is to write a page in a journal everyday and hopefully everyday I can find something to be thankful for.  Life really is too short to be bitter and stressed all the time.  Life is full of beautiful small things that I want to remember.

Goodnight people!

...Hello 2014!

Last night was fun although I got to bed much too late.  A group of us went to IHOP after the party for bacon but were severely disappointed when they lost our order.  After about an hour we left empty handed.  Not a wonderful way to start the new year.  Of course, I did start it with a kiss from Jake so that isn't too bad.

Course, the fact that we were both tired probably lead to the fact that we has a small spat this morning.  Not exactly good.  But the fact that we had our first "fight" and still want to be together is a good sign.  He's become a big part of my life.

Anyway, you all know I am not huge into the concept of a New Year because it is just another day.  However, I really need to take this as a new beginning and make some changes in my life.  As human beings, sometimes we need an excuse to start afresh.  I should really take advantage of it.

Things I need to change:

• Jobs.  Maybe I should find one that pays well and one that I can stand.  Wouldn't that be something?
• Keeping track of my money.
• Finish my house.
• Exercise.
• Write daily.

I have a journal I am going to write a page in everyday.  It's going to be hard but I want to do it.  The thing I need to do the most is keep track of my finances better though.  It's getting to the point where I need to be an adult about it.  I'm not exactly rolling in it.

Well, here we go 2014.  Live up to the possibility!