When you...

When you hate the thought of getting up in the morning and going to work.  Or when you hate hearing your phone ring because you fear it will be someone from work.  When you begin you hate yourself because of work...

...That's when you get the hell out of there.

I'm not going to lie, life has been rather tough for me the past couple of weeks.  The past couple of days has really had me questioning morally if I was doing the right thing.  As much as I want to rant and rave about it on here, I've really done enough of that.  Plus, I don't want to put it on here and poison this.  Also, since this is a public forum for me, it just isn't a good idea.  If I really got going on this I don't think I could stop myself and I don't think I would censor myself very well.

So we will just say something deplorable happened at work.  Those who need to know, know.  Those who want to know can ask me privately.  I won't go into it on here.  I'm not even going to share this.  However, I will say that I have never been so treated in my life.  I also have never felt the need to question myself and my work situation on such a moral level.  I was very close to making decisions that would have greately impacted my future and probably the future of a good number of people.  Not all those people would have deserved it but many would have deserved it and a whole lot worse.

I didn't sleep well last night and made myself physically ill because I was so torn over it.  Ultimately I've chosen, for now, to continue with the decisions I've already made.  If Friday wasn't already my last day then my decision would have been drastically different.  But since it is my last day I'm going to stick with training because that is my passion.  I don't want to leave the incredible training team at work.  Those people have given me a place to belong and I would be crushed to leave that.  However, if the poison of the other side at all leaks over into training then I am out the door.  I will not put up with it anymore.

Honestly, this whole thing sickens me.  I'm glad it is almost over.