Blah

If you've been reading my Facebook page you know I've been in a terrible mood.

I'm in a terrible mood because people as a whole tend to disappoint and annoy me.  I am not a people person.  This is a fact widely known.  I'm a dog person.  I'm much more likely to tolerate you if you have a dog.  And I'll probably like you if I like your dog.  I have my friends and my really close friends and beyond that I would rather not deal with people a whole lot outside of their dogs.  That doesn't make me a mean or rude person.  I think I'm nice and polite and would never outright be mean to people but no, I'm not all that interested in knowing everyone's life story or getting coffee with strangers.

People have just been irritating the hell out of me lately.

And add on top of that a lack of sleep and I turn into a really charming person.  In the past week and a half I've fallen asleep before 1 AM only once.  And yes that still would give me about 5 hours of sleep and that would have been a Godsend in college but I'm an old woman now and I do not do well with anything under 8 hours of sleep.  10 days of 4-5 hours of sleep on average is killing me.

I'm also frustrated.  I'm frustrated with so many things.  Mostly my job.  I don't want to be one of those people who complains about everything and I know I've spent my fair share of time complaining about my job but I'm just so sick of being the one with the shitty job.  I've recently realized that I can't put the time or energy I want into training because I am burning myself out.  13 hour days is way too much work.  I need to find a part time job that will allow me time off to work on and build up training.  The problem is, I just bought a house and I have expenses.  Can I risk taking another pay cut right now and hope training compensates for it?

On the other hand, isn't life too short to do something you don't like and don't enjoy?  Or is that a childish notion?  I get torn between the two.

Some days I'm shocked that I'm one of those adults with a mortgage, a 8-5 office job, and a chip on my shoulder.  Some days I think that's part of growing up is accepting what the real world is.  Not all of us can have the adventures and live life like we see in the movies.  In reality, that young girl who got her dream job right out of college in NYC and lives in this wonderful loft doesn't exist.  Really she's a waitress trying to break into the journalist business while she lives in a closet with 3 other roommates.  Yay reality!

Of course reality is what you make of it.  So do you just accept that and live that life or do you do something else?  God I wish I could sell off everything I own and go ride a motorcycle around the world or something.  I'd love that.  Course I'd have to get a side car for Whitman and Gerani.  Theo wouldn't like that much.

My animals are probably the main reason I haven't done that.  I love them.  They keep me grounded.  Honestly they keep me a productive member of society because I have to take care of them.  Sucks on one hand but on the other I wouldn't trade them for a life of adventure.

And that's just about all the complaining and bitchiness I want to let out today.

Taking a half day from work today and a day off tomorrow or else I'd burn the place down.  Need some me time.

And time to finish up the house so I can move in.

So much to do...