Damn that Alarm!

I am a notorious snoozer.  It is common knowledge among those who have spent morning time with me that I am not a morning person.  I do not enjoy mornings.  I do not enjoy rolling out of bed and getting ready for work every single day... well 6 out of 7 days a week anyway.  Mornings are a stupid thing that I wish had never been invented.  So yes, I hit the snooze button a lot in the morning.  It's a terrible habit that inevitably has me rushing around in the morning tripping over dogs as I try to get out the door on time.

Today was one of those days.  It got me thinking that really I should try to break the habit of snoozing so many times in the morning.  Googled it and here is what I found:

Set a timer so that a bright light turns on simultaneously with your alarm.  In theory... good.  But I've read that it isn't good to startle yourself awake.  A bright light in the face might go under that heading.

Consider setting an outdoor-rated timer which turns a space heater on in your bedroom, for about an hour before you want to wake up. The idea here is to wake up when you're warm.  I don't know about you but I don't necessarily enjoy waking up overheated and sweaty in my bed.  Just doesn't say "Good morning" to me.
 
If you drink coffee, get a coffee pot with a timer.  Perfection.  Coffee is always the answer.  Course the coffee is in the kitchen..
 
Put your alarm clock on the other side of the room.  I tried this one in high school.  What ended up happening is I would jump out of bed, run to the alarm, turn it off, and run back to bed.  Then I was just pissed.
 
Set a second alarm on your cell phone, computer, another alarm clock, or whatever you can hear from wherever you need to put it. Place the other alarm by your coffee pot, in the bathroom, downstairs, in the hall, or whatever works in your home. Then set it for 5 minutes after the first alarm on your regular alarm clock.  Actually not a bad idea.  May take this advice. 
 
If all else fails, lock the alarm clock in a box with a combination lock and attach the internal clock speaker to an external stereo speaker. Again, I think this would just piss me the hell off.  Pissed the hell off is not a good way to start the day.  Plus, on my cellphone (which is my alarm) I have it set to do math problems if I want to snooze.  I manage that just fine.  Maybe harder math problems... 
 
Consider super gluing your snooze button in order to make it impossible to use. Super gluing my cell phone would not and never will be a good idea.
 
Appreciate waking up.  One of the most important steps for me was changing my mindset about waking up. ...What the hell kind of advice is this?  It is like someone saying "Love thyself."  I do love myself and I do appreciate the fact that I'm not dead in the morning.  Asking my to appreciate my alarm going off is like asking me to hug a cactus. 
 
Set an alarm you’re happy to wake up to.  This is good advice.  I HATE HATE HATE HATE the beeping sound of an alarm.  If hell was a sound it would be a beeping alarm.  So I wake up to a more relaxing noise that slowly gets louder with time.  I have yet to find a really nice tone of rain or waves or something though.  That would be ideal. 
 
Have something to do / a reason you are getting up.  ...If I didn't have a reason to get up why would I set my alarm?   
 
Set a short goal.  My goal for waking up at 6am was technically only for one week. But after that week, I kept going.  Good advice.  But this takes dedication and will power...  *cries* 
 
Go to bed earlier.  Amen.  And no jokes about how I'm 80 years old.  My ideal time to go to bed is 9:30.  That week off I had for Christmas has just completely wacked out my sleep schedule though and I haven't been doing that.  I need to get back to that. 
 
Don’t sleep too comfortably.  ...Okay whoever gave this advice just needs to smack themselves.  That's all I'll dignify that one with. 
 
Try to wake up in the right cycle.  I was just reading an article about this actually.  You don't want to randomize when you wake because it could interrupt a REM sleep cycle.  I'm not sure how much I believe that but it's worth a try. 
Turn on the lights.  Already do this because, as stated above, I spend a lot of time in the morning dodging dogs and the cat.  Always easier not to step on them if the light is on. 
 
Drink some water.  Make it coffee instead of water and I'm there.   
 
Wake up at the same time every day.  I'll try.   
 
Commit.  *sigh*  Yeah yeah yeah... will power and all.

I get the idea.  I just have to put my nose to the grindstone and do it.  Damnit.  Damn the world for waking up earlier than I would prefer!  Why can't we all just work and live at night and sleep during the day?  Works for the owls!!!