- September of last year I signed my first lease on my own in Mantiou.
- Began a housing search that was much more intense than I thought it would be.
- Left my job at LD which was frightening, exciting, regretful and good all at the same time.
- Moved out of Manitou and am now existing in a state of flux.
- Bought a house.
- Slowly remodeling that house.
It's a lot to comprehend. I don't tend to think my life is all that exciting. Hollywood won't be making a movie about it any time soon, not even a bad daytime tv movie. But that doesn't mean that these events aren't huge in my world.
I feel the need to quote one of my all time favorite tv shows now.
"Bottom line is, even if you see them coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So, what are we, helpless? Puppets? Nah. The big moments are gonna come, you can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are."
~Whistler, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Yes that might be a tad dramatic but it is still a very potent quote. If life were a stagnant thing it wouldn't be worth living. Changes, even when they form as bumps in the road, are a part of the world turning and life going on. You never really know what is going to happen but when those big moments come either you put on your big boy boots and kick ass or you hide under the bed. I've done my share of both.
So why am I getting all whimsical and philosophical? One because my brain isn't entirely awake yet this morning and two because I've had another opportunity open up before me. Whenever I am faced with a big decision like this I always get philosophical and deep. If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around does it make a sound?
Anyway, the opportunity I find myself looking at is another job. When I made the decision to get out of LD it was a really hard one. I was comfortable with my work there, even though I did not agree with the people or who it was run. I am comfortable working with dogs and I really miss that. In no way do I wish I had stayed at my position at LD because it was strangling the life out of me. People have told me I seem much happier now and that's a positive thing if people can notice that. I walk in for training now and I don't want to burn the place down. It's a novel feeling that I really missed having. So no, I don't regret quitting except that I miss the dogs there. Yeah yeah the job I have now is a good one. The people here are very sweet and I like them. My boss is an incredibly nice person. They have AMAZING coffee machines here. But... there is no soul here. I don't know if that makes sense. But where I sit, I can't see outside. I never thought that would depress me but it kind of does. I feel like I'm sitting in a sad little box like those lab mice that don't see anything but white walls. Working here has really made me relate to Office Space more. Especially the scene where he knocks down his cubicle wall to see outside and the beating of the fax machine. And then essentially I do the same thing... everyday. And it is things that I don't particularly care about and don't interest me. I've always been the kind of person that if I'm not interested in a topic it is hard for me to apply myself to it. I'd just really like to get back into working with animals.
Yesterday I was driving to my parents' house to visit with my cat and I happened to drive past my vet's office. I had been meaning to call them about getting Whitman's teeth cleaned so I rung them up. They know me as my family has been taking our animals to them since I was a kid. Dr. Scott is an amazing vet and even saw my CCI dogs for free when they were active. Whitman is not a huge fan of Dr. Scott but he's a great vet. When I contemplated leaving LD I decided that I would like to work in a vet's office. However, since I love my vet so much, it was the only vet office I really wanted to consider. Only they weren't hiring. I've been thinking about getting back into the animal field over the past couple of weeks so when I had them on the phone I asked how often they hired. Turns out, they're hiring now. What luck! Course whenever I am faced with a decision like this I go back and forth and worry and stress but honestly, this is a job I have been waiting for. It would be SO much better to work there than here I think. So I turned in my resume and I have a job interview tomorrow afternoon over my lunch break.
This would be an amazing opportunity for me. And honestly, I really hope I get it though I would feel guilty for taking this job and only staying for four months. Especially since I strong armed them into higher pay than they wanted. And my sister works here so I don't want to make waves on the way out. I just always seem to feel like I am letting people down when I do something like this. For example, when I left managing LD I felt like I was letting my employees down. But if I do get offered this position I think I will jump for it. It's a lot of changes all at once but it is good changes. I'll just have to roll with the punches and try to make it up on my feet.
What else can you do? Well you all can wish me luck!
Here's another question for you:
If a tree falls in the woods and only a deaf man is there, does it make a sound?
No comments:
Post a Comment